Musings

Blog post

'Hi'

'Hi'

'Done with your commitments for tonight?'

'Ya, just getting ready for bed'

'Oh, okay'

'You?'

'Same'

'......'

'......'

'Every thing okay?'

'Ya'

'Alright'

*1 minute of silence*

'Can I ask you something?'

'Ya sure, any thing '

'Why is that no matter what I say or write, I end up with my words getting twisted?

All I did was write down how I was feeling about everything. How after spending 1 year in this industry has shown me about 'what goes behind the camera?'.. I never let them get to me, you know that. We have a strong policy of filtering the comments thrown at us.. and only catching the positive ones.

But you know me, once in a while they become just too much. And this entire week, this issue was bugging me. And I had to let it all out. I did the only way I knew, through my blog posts.

I wasn't even talking about you. I was pertaining to how people expect everyone to change just to survive in this world. I was merely declaring that I'm not going to be one of them. I never asked people to love me. Heck, I didn't even think of being this big. But if I ended up being this famous, does that mean I owe it to the showbiz world? And that I need to return back the favour?

How could they use my words against you? Why can't they just understand that we have different approaches to dealing with these snobs? Why are they so quick to believe that I'm pointing my finger at you, while these very same people turn a blind eye when I'm practically shouting it to thier faces that I love you? Why such double standards.... when will it all stop...?'

'.......you done?'

'ya.. I guess'

'Look, this is not the first time that we are dealing with this issue. About the different techniques we use in handling our careers.

I have been in this industry for 6 years now. And like you in the start, even I wasnt ready to sacrifice my individuality to it. But this was my need, not my choice. And I decided that I would learn their ways and then make my own safe path in this fire. I would not bow down to their demands , yet would do enough to allow me to remain as a part of this world.

Sometimes I admire your courage. You have been always been a stubborn person, you do what you want. When you decided that you won't let this glamour change you, you didn't back down once since then.

But like I said, I was afraid. Afraid that I would lose this, and you perfectly know that. So I did what I could. I only gave them my finger, not my whole hand

And it appears that this attribute has grown on me. Now that I know that I can outrightly point them out, I still do it discreetly, non-chalantly. Guess that's why I'm not much affected by their comments or bashing. For me, they've always been there, only now the sound is more implefied.

So what I'm trying to say, do what your heart tells you to do. Dont worry about me. I knew that blog post wasn't sending a message to me or an attempt to put me down. I know you better than anyone else. And that should be enough for you.

We came from different worlds. We have different outlooks on various aspects. But at the end of the day, we are a team, stronger and fiercer than anyone else. Always there to support each other no matter what happens.

Just like I usually say 'ikaw at ako, tayong dalawa'

'You are seriously the best person in the whole wide world. You always always know how to say the right thing at the right time and know how to make me feel better. Thank-you so much '

'No need to.. I'm always here for you'

'You know all this has made me realize how much I miss you. '

'Me too. I hate being away from you. Cant wait to be back and give you one tight hug and tell you face to face that everything is going to be alright '

'And I'm going to hug you back and tell you that as long as you are here, I dont have anything to worry about '