Sleepyhead

Carrots and Cupcakes

“Sutton, I think you need to calm down.”

“No, I can’t calm down. I’m in a state of autonomic nervous system arousal. I cannot, for the life of me calm down. Oh Jesus, Oh God, is this what a panic attack feels like? I think my heart is beating out of my chest. I think my brain is crying. No, exploding! No, shriveling up and dying! No-”

“Shut up woman!” Winnie screamed, tossing a pillow in my general direction. It came no where near me, of course, seeing as I was pacing up and down between the beds like a mad crazy woman.

Let me explain.

After Niall so kindly escorted me down to the lobby to get my room key, a very real thought hit me.

It was going to actually have to do work.

Which is, as I’m sure you’ve collected by now, not possible.

Well, it’s possible, but it certainly isn’t good.

Sutton + Work = Disaster.

Remember that, kids.

I knew how those signings went, Bobby and Tabs were worked to death at those things. Never once had they come out of a signing with a smile on their face or feeling okay. They were exhausted. Dead. Angry. Horrible zombies.

(Once, I was taking a nap on the tour bus, you know, minding my own business when Tabs stormed in and started screaming at me for no apparent reason. In fact, she screamed so intensely that I almost started to cry. And I never cry. Never.)

And if I can barely make through a normal day of napping eating and napping and laying around and napping without feeling exhausted, how am I supposed to actually work and get shit done and I don’t know, not make a fool of myself in front of Zayn?

Lord save me.

“This is going to go so horribly, horribly wrong.” I moaned, burying my face in my hands. “I don’t know how to run a signing! All I can do is stand in the back and bitch at Directioners if they take a single step out of line. I’m good at that! I’m a pro at that. It requires little to no talent! But running a signing, how do you even-”

“Please,” Astrid rolled her eyes, not bothering to look up from her laptop as usual. “Reed’s got everything covered.”

“I’ve been on the phone with Tabs for a half hour, she told me everything.” Reed smiled, walking back over to the room and lying down on the bed. “It’ll be fun.”

“Shut up,” I sighed, shaking my head frantically. “It won’t be fun, what if I mess up? What if I bring the boys coffee instead of tea? What if I break a present? What if-”

“Oi, don’t worry about that. Like I said, I’ve got it all covered.” 

A nasty, terrible grin spread across her face. Like the Grinch. You know, fucking creepy.

There’s the thing about Reed, she’s devious. Crazy. A bit nutso. She’s pretty and looks sophisticated like she’d be all classy and a nice girl, but no. Reed is snarky and rude and quite literally perfect.

Which is why I love her, mind you.

“Astrid, you’ll be in charge of bromance control. Just make sure they don’t get too handsy. You know how those fans take it.”

Astrid looked up from her laptop, wide-eyed and terrified. “What?”

I swear to God she just started shaking. 

What is she, a chihuahua?

“Just sit Louis and Harry away from each other.”

“No, I mean, I have to...interact with them?” Astrid gasped. “I thought...I thought you guys would just let me work behind the scenes, you know, on my laptop and-”