Sleepyhead

Heartbreak of Danny Zuko

“Pass the salt, would ‘ya Slutty?”

Grabbing it off the table, which was directly in front of him, I jabbed the damn salt shaker directly in front of Louis’ face. “There you go, Princess.”

“Thank you sweetheart,” he said in a sickeningly sweet voice, taking it from my hands as if I was the nicest person in the world, and shaking it all over his stupid green beans. 

“Slutton,” Louis said again. “Would you mind passing me a roll, then? I’ve got such a sore arm and I wouldn’t want to aggravate it anymore.”

Eyes narrowed, I grabbed a roll from the basket directly in front of him and tossed it to him, where it hit square in the nose.

Harry burst into laughter. Niall snorted into his chicken alfredo. And Liam just snickered quietly. 

Zayn sat stoically.

As in, he didn’t even flinch, just stared at me from across the table without any expression on his face. Reed kept sending him confused glances during the first course and even tried to ask him if he was doing alright. To that Zayn had just grunted in reply.

“Slutton,” Louis cleared his throat, using his “good arm” to brush the bread crumbs off his nose and his lap onto the floor. “Now is that any way to treat someone you’ve just terribly injured?”

I narrowed my eyes, “Terribly injured my ass.”

Louis nodded, his eyes doing that mystical dancing thing where everyone knows he’s bullshitting everything that exits his body (including his asshole, mind you) and yet no one has the chutzpah (thank you Harry) to stand up to him. Because he’s Louis and he’ll most definitely cause a scene if you do. “It’s true. You know it. You’ve seen my arm. ‘Specially since you did it, love.”

I crinkled my nose in disgust, “I didn’t do anything, alright? Your arm happened to be in the way when I was opening the car door.”

He gasped dramatically, clutching at his chest. “Happened to be in the way? Are you saying that I think you did it on purpose? Wait, did you do it on purpose? Oh my, oh my, we have an investigation on our hands.”

“Sod off,” I growled, grabbing another roll and tossing it at him. This time he caught it, with his “bad arm” or whatever. Fucktard.

Harry giggled his angry cat giggle and poked me in the side, “Best you just humor him, Lark.”

I stuck my nose into the air, “I’d rather humor a vampire.”

Niall’s face twisted in confusion, “What?”

I sighed, “I don’t know.”

Apparently today is Sutton Lark Doesn’t Make Sense Day Because Zayn Malik Is Being Weird and Avoiding Her Because He Overheard Her And Harry Closely Talking About Their Mutual And Psychopathic Ex-Girlfriend Juliet Fuck Face Lovelace.

Or, you know, late June.

But mostly I’d spent the rest of the afternoon trying to get Zayn to talk to me by being overly flirty and nice and once I even did that little hair flick that usually makes him hard within a second. But he didn’t even flinch. And he didn’t even get a boner-roner. It was just Zayn Malik looking annoyed and sleepy and bored. And being a total fuck face.

And so when we were leaving for our Fancy Dinner With Tabs And Bobby, I was so distracted at trying to find where Zayn was sitting in the car that I yanked the door open rather forcefully. And Louis happened to be standing next to me, trying to make fun of the way I’d tripped over the curb earlier. So thus, as things usually do, I ended up whacking him with the door and making him yelp out in pain.