Sleepyhead

Disco Pants and Heart Attacks

You’d think I wouldn’t have to wake up at the crack of dawn on my week off.

Yeah, that’s what you’d think.

An hour and three cups of coffee later, I was leaning against the wall in the meeting room that had most of the tables and chairs cleared out. On the other side of the room, Lou and Caroline and the other ladies were helping the lads into different clothes and shoes and styling their hair to see what would look best for the various ensembles. And I was mostly standing here thinking about how the ladies would really just love it if they wore little no clothing.

If I ran the tour, they would all wear swim trunks or speedos or just nothing at all. And there would be lots of dancing and lots of twitter questions about yours truly. And then when they sang Gotta Be You, it would be me sitting on that lovely sofa while they sang their little hearts out. Bing bang boom. Suttoned.

But alas, I didn’t run the tour. I was the coffee girl slash now firsthand personal assistant. But I was still the errands girl and there was something “lowly on the totem pole” about it. I didn’t care too much, seeing as I’m still me and I prefer to sleep and get coffee than actually do proper work. Holla at your girl, I’ve found my dream job.

Even this morning wasn’t too bad, I’d gotten up and brushed my teeth with my new toothbrush that I bought myself after our milkshake date, I’d showered and gotten all cute (and by cute I mean shorts and my favorite Beatles crop top) and been out the door with the rest of the lads just as the big black SUVS picked us up.

After some convincing of Reed that I totally spent the night at Niall’s (lie) and avoiding the glances of a certain dark haired dickface (Zayn), I’d taken a short lil nap on Louis’ shoulder. And then I woke up with a straw in my nose and a picture on instagram thanks to that little hooligan.

But it wasn’t too bad of a morning. I had plans up the wazoo for later, including a nice little get together with Ed Sheeran at his video shoot with young Harold and then maybe a little sexy plans with that same little youngling.

I was excited. In more ways than one.

Booooooooom.

But for now I was bored. No one needed anything and only Harry had come up to entertain me for a bit before Lou dragged him back by his ear and ignored his desperate protests. So I’d blown him a kiss in the sauciest of ways and he blushed and turned away.

But ti seemed my prayers for entertainment were being answered. There is a God.

“Hiiiii,” I sang, bouncing from one foot to the other as Liam came up to me, looking a little bit more solemn and sad than a Liam should. He was supposed to be happy and dance-y and adorable and make me smile with his adorable ways. But instead his eyes were a tad puffy and his aura was quite depressing. “You okay, Lima?”

“Danielle and I broke up.” And there it was.

I crinkled my nose, “Are you okay? What happened? I didn’t like her anyway. Totally pretending the whole time!”