Daughter's Love

chres

"Don't want the world to know what makes me weak. Don't want the world to know that side of me."~ Kevin Garrett

Bryson came over to complain. I told his ass to get the hell out but he came back in my house with a upset Nesha. I went up to my room ignore the both of them. They were going back and forth about shit I don't care about.

Nesha is the best person in the world but after what happened, again, I can't be around her too long. Meetings we don't sit next to each other. I don't call her anymore. I don't even say hello to her. It's been five months since it happened but it feels like today.

Bryson came in my room and guess who the hell ain't do shit about it. Roxie just let the nigga walk in here. She a traitor too for letting him touch her instead of biting his ass like I taught her.

"Chresanto talk to your cousin cause she getting on my motherfucking nerves. He so damn annoying. He so irritating. Why won't he talk to me. He just want attention." He mocked her sitting on the edge of my bed.

I turned around towards my desk. I don't care.

"She good. Nesha gon complain regardless." I said.

"Chresanto talk to her. For me. Please." Bryson sounded like he was begging.

"Bry your begging and pleading is really irritating. Get out."

There wasn't a need for him or Nesha to be here. If I don't want to talk about anything with you then I'm not saying nothing. Jack. Squat. Nada. Get the fuck out of my face.

Nesha busted through my room door, damn near scaring Bryson scary ass.

"Get out." She said calmly staring at me.

"You ain't got to tell my ass twice. I'ma be downstairs. Please don't start swinging on each other." Bryson closed the door but he was probably still listening through the door.

Nesha kept looking dead at me so I turned back to my desk. I'm lowkey mad ain't shit on my desk to do.

"So this is what you do now?" She asked. "Turn ya back on family. Don't talk to nobody but ya lil girlfriend that is going end up like the last one soon as your father finds out. Roc you fucked up in the head."

I got up charging at her but she quickly kicked me in my baby maker. The shit hurt like hell.

"Don't even fucking try it. You called me out my name so many times in the last five months. You just like him if you haven't noticed. I doubt you even know that he does what he does for you. Everything anyone around here does is for your ass. You ungrateful piece of shit. You made me fucking cry you dick head. Me of all people cry." Nesha grabbed my shirt making me look at her. "We do what we do for you."

"Y'all just need money. Isn't that why we all do this? Get off of me." I pushed away from her. "I do what I do so that I can get out this life."

"You think I wanna be doing this shit forever Roc? You think I like hiding this shit from him? You think I like the shit I do? I don't want live this life forever. I wanna get out this shit too. But I can't. I can't and you want to know why?" She pushed me making fall back on my back. "I don't want to see you dead. That day, we was supposed to knock you but being the caring and compassionate motherfucka I am, Monty somewhat too, begged him. We begged him to let you live. See another day. And you say fuck you to me. Roc, you fuck up all the time. Every time we turn around you got yaself into something. One day, me and Monty ain't  going to be there to catch him plotting. And guess, what? Nobody will care what he decides to do to you."

"That's really how you feel?" I asked looking up at her.

"Yeah, that's how I feel."

"Okay." I nodded getting up. "Thank you for being honest but I ain't with the pity party shit no more. You or Monty don't have to break y'all necks. If it happens then fuck it. It might as well be my time. Nesha I love you with everything in me, but I'm not a kid no more. I got it."