Saving Max

Chapter 46

For the month and a half following Christmas, everything in my life went surprisingly okay. I started to jump back into my old life of all work and no play, turning a lot of my time towards applying to more colleges since formerly declining my Stanford acceptance. I went back to working my full hours at the hospital, too, getting to know the new patients and catching up with old ones. Going back to school after break was okay as well because I had Adam, Katie, and even Damien by my side to deflect any comments that were thrown my way.

All aspects of my life were looking good, and with each passing day I found myself brightening up more and more.

I still had thoughts of Caden every once and a while, but they were starting to become few and far in between the more I busied myself with work and school. Thoughts of Max, however, were much more prominent in my mind. I never tried to stop those from my brain, to be fair, because I knew it would be pointless. I was always going to worry about Max, and there was no reason for me to try and stop that.

I made it a point to talk to Derek almost once a week as well so he could fill me in on everything going on in his life as well as Caden and Max's. More Max's, but it still filled me with relief to hear Caden was doing okay, too. Derek had moved in with them right after David was put away, moving all of his stuff into my old room and refilling the living room with decent furniture since David had trashed all of the old pieces. He's told me it's been good to be with the two of them to start their own routine of sorts, trying to create a new life now that David was officially gone and out of their lives.

When Derek first told me this, there was a small part of my heart that was jealous of him. He was getting to live the life I once had and loved, and I missed it. Hell, I still miss it. I know it's a good thing both for Derek and the boys, but a selfish side of me still thinks I should be the one next to Max supporting him. There are nights even now where I come home and lie in the darkness, wishing I was out there in that old house with all of them instead of here. It doesn't happen often, but when it does I can feel a familiar tug in my heart that comes along with their absence.

I eventually make myself take a step back and realize that all of us are better of now where we are, and that I should just be happy they're okay. I should be happy that they're safe.

Today is Valentine's day, and I'm currently about to head over to my shift at the hospital. A load of people, including Kelsey, took the night off in search of the perfect evening out. I volunteered a week ago to take the late night hours on top of my regular shift, seeing as I'm currently the most single person on the planet. My mom wasn't too crazy about me working a full twelve hours in a row, but I quickly talked her into it after playing the 'college tuition' card. That seems to work for most anything these days.

"Bye guys!" I yell to my parents, rushing past them in a breeze as I scoop my keys up off the counter. They're both seated in the kitchen with a bottle of wine settled between them, offering up a small wave as they watch me leave. "Don't wait up!"

I make it to the hospital right on time, smiling at the few people I pass in the hallway on the way to the children's ward where I'm stationed. There are a couple of ladies walking past me who are dressed to the nine's, laughing like a couple of school girls as they make their way to what's probably going to be a very cheesy and romantic double date.

If I was in a relationship myself, I would probably aw at them and get excited for my own date, but now that I'm single I can't find it in myself to care one bit. I'd much rather just stick to dusting a hospital room, thank you very much.

Once I reach my destination I walk straight back to Max's old room, entering the empty space with a heavy sigh. Every time I show up for work I do the same thing out of instinct, a small fear bubbling in my chest that he might show up again with those horrid bruises covering his skin. Even though I know in the back of my head Max is safer than he's ever been, the fear just never seems to leave my mind. I don't have much faith that it ever will, but I'd rather be too concerned with Max than not at all. If you've ever loved and had to look after a child, you'll know exactly what I mean.