Saving Max

Chapter 49

*Important note at the end, please read. Thank you and enjoy the chapter! :)*

"Do you want something to drink, Bella?" Aunt Sydney's voice is calm and collected as she makes her way into the living room, gently taking a seat next to me on her dark red couch. I turn to face her and shake my head no, pulling my lips into a tight line to keep from speaking. Having already rushed over uninvited I don't feel right asking her for anything more, even if she is family. I don't want to impose more than I already am.

Thinking to myself with an inward sigh, I start to question why I ended up here of all places. This is about the hundredth time the thought has passed through my mind since I got in the car and traveled a whole three hours to get to Sydney's house, and I have yet to receive my answer. I was already well on my way down before I even registered where I was going myself, like I was fleeing to her out of instinct. She's always come through for me when I needed her before, so I guess I just assumed she would do so again. She has, too, but it doesn't stop the guilt from eating away at my heart, knowing that there are probably a billion different, not to mention better ways she could be spending her Saturday than consoling her distraught teenage niece.

On top of my guilty conscience, I also can't help but question if leaving town was the right thing to do in the first place. I know I need to find my own way to get over Caden for good, but surely there has to be a better way than to leave the state. It seems a bit extreme, especially for me, but I just can't find it in myself to get back in my car and drive home. I think it's because deep down I believe this is the best thing for me right now, even if I can't fully grasp why right now.

And I'm already here, anyways. It'd be stupid to leave now after I've traveled all this way to get here.

I snap out of my conflictions when Sydney lays a comforting hand on top of my knee, directing my eyes back to her from where'd they wandered out the nearby window. "Are you sure you're okay, honey? You've barely said five words since you walked in the door." She comments. I know she means well, her gaze holding true concern, but I'm still unable to tell her why I'm here. I told her about Caden long with the rest of my family a few weeks after we started dating, my mom even calling her up to let her know of our split. She's one of the only people who know about David aside from my parents, too, since my mom told me she 'needed someone to confide in.' 

Sydney knows the whole story, and yet I still feel embarrassed to talk to her about why I'm here. When I think about telling her in my head, it all sounds so silly and naïve. Trying to find a way to get over someone you once loved; it sounds like a normal problem for a teenager with a broken heart, but this is different. I've only been in one relationship before Caden, so I don't have much experience in the love department, but I know that what Caden and I had was something special. It was completely and totally ours.

"It's hard, Sydney." I mumble tiredly, leaning my head down softly onto her offered shoulder. She instantly brings her arm up to hug me tight to her body, holding me against her with as much love as she can muster.

"I know, sweetie, I know." Sydney assures me, gently releasing me so that I can sit back upwards. She replaces her hand on my knee, rubbing back and forth a few times as she patiently waits for me to speak.

I look to her with broken features, completely crumbling under the intensity of the love she's showing me. I blow out a deep breath, rubbing nonexistent tears out from under my eyes. "I still love him." I breathe out, shaking my head sadly at my own words. I absolutely hate the fact that they still ring true, but also know that there will never be anything I could possibly do to change them. I came here to move on from him, and I've only been here a short while to realize that it'll never happen.