Saving Max

Chapter 39

As I walk into my house the next morning, the sun barely peeking over the clouds, everything is in complete chaos. There are hushed yells being exchanged in the living room, every word blurring together in the air around me, sounding almost like a gust of wind blowing by. Items are strewn about the entryway, shoes and coats and even scarves littering the floor, pooling around my feet.

I hesitate by the doorway, kicking off my boots in the corner away from the mess, trying my hardest not to make too much noise. I'm not too keen on my presence being known yet, more specifically on my presence being known to Caden. Right now I just want to talk to Max and see how he's doing, especially after he just ran off yesterday. He's never been one to shy away from opening up to me, aside from our first couple of months together in the hospital. Max has always trusted me with his feelings, and I can't wrap my head around why yesterday was any different.  

Thinking for a second, I slip back out the front door, not bothering to put my shoes back, dampening my toes with the morning dew gracing the blades of grass outside. I tiptoe to the back door, slowly twisting the handle in my loose grip. I sigh with relief when it pushes open, revealing the dimly lit hallway that lays beyond it. I walk in, wiping my feet quickly on the carpeted floor, shuffling quietly to the room Caden and Max are sharing. I pause when I reach the closed door, wondering if Max is in there, or out with the others in the living room. I imagine the only reason they're whispering is to not wake Max, though, so I allow myself to crack open the door.

When I peek inside, what I see is not what I was expecting. I thought Max would be asleep, snoring peacefully on his bed like he always is when I wake him. Instead I'm met with a very different sight; I see Max halfway out the window, his small arms gripping tightly to the ledge as he attempts to shimmy himself through the opening. The screen is laying neatly on the ground beside his feet, scratching the floor every time his toes slip on it.

"What are you doing?" I whisper-shout, carrying myself over to the window swiftly, locking my hands around is waist in a tight grip and lifting him fully back into the house. I set him down once he stops struggling, letting my hands rest on my hips as I look him up and down.

I can't say I'm really angry with him, even though I know I should be, I'm just disappointed. I'm hurt by the fact that Caden and I have done so much to try and give him a better life, and this is how he repays us. He's trying to run away from the two people who love him most.

Max doesn't say anything to me for a long time, letting his eyes stayed glued to the floor where his feet are cemented, right on top of the window screen. I don't push him, but I don't let my eyes leave him, either. I want him to feel the intensity of my stare. I want him to look into my eyes and see how disappointed I am in him. How disappointed I am in myself for not being enough for him.

Him or Caden.

"I'm sorry." Max mumbles, kicking his heel hard into the ground as he finally picks his eyes up off the ground, meeting mine glazed sadness.

I raise a challenging eyebrow, sitting myself down on his bed so that we're almost level. "Are you?"

He doesn't answer right away, giving me all the answer I need before a single word even leaves his lips. "Yeah." he tells me, but I can tell his heart isn't in it. He's just saying it because he knows it's the right thing to say, which isn't something the Max I know would never do. After he allowed himself to start speaking up, Max has always said what he feels, even if it's hard. He's never hidden the truth from me, not once, and it hurts to see him doing it now.

Despite myself, I reach over and tickle his sides, earning a brief smile on Max's face as I pull him down to sit on my lap. I run my hand through his thick hair,  positioning him so that I can clearly see his face in my line of sight. His weight brings an ache to my knee, but I don't let it bother me for too long, not wanting to set him back down. I'm scared that he might try and run again.