"She was drowning herself," I said to Josh, through the phone. "She would have been dead if I didn't come home early."
I was pacing my hotel room as I talked to Josh.
"Let me get this straight," Josh said. "You left your suicidal fiancée alone after you had a fight with her? A fight where you said you regretted being with her?"
"Yeah," I replied slowly, not getting it.
"Dude, how did you graduate?" He said.
"Shit!" I exclaimed. I grabbed my keys. "I have to go."
I hung up on Josh and called your cell phone. "Pick up, pick up, pick up," I chanted.
"Hey," you said.
"El baby I'm so—"
"This is Ella please leave a message after the beep."
"Shit, shit, shit," I said, hanging up and getting behind the wheel of my car.
I pushed open the door.
"El!" I yelled, half expecting you to answer.
I ran into the bathroom.
You had cut your arms. On your left I'm so was written, on your right, it said Sorry.
The water in the tub was red. Red with your blood. You were lying in it the razor blade dangling from your fingers.
I collapsed by the bathtub and cried. "I'm so sorry El. I didn't mean what I said. I love you."
---
I'd finally got in my car about half an hour ago.
I'm on the highway again heading to a quieter part of town. To you.
ms_
