I kissed the scars on her skin

Chapter 12

Ever since they had found out I self harmed Tony hasn't talked to me. I know he's upset with me. But he should talk to me.

He's my brother after all . He should be more concerned than the guys are. As I got out of my bunk ( I still wasn't sleeping ) I went to the back.

Tony was there and when I sat next to him he tensed up. That was it.

" If you have something to say to me say it now." I say

" What?" Tony asks

" You know damn well what I mean." I say

" I'm sure I don't." Tony says

" That's bullshit! You can't ignore me forever." I yell

" Well what do you expect me to do?" Tony asks

" You're supposed to be there for me. You're never there for me!" I yell

" What ? Of course I am!" Tony yells

" What's going on?" Vic asks

" Stay out of it !" Tony and I yell at the same time

" You're never there for me. All those times in high school you were never there. You were always with them. I was all alone." I say

" What does this have to do with the self harming thing?" Tony asks

" It's my fault mom and dad are dead." I say

" No it's not. It was the stupid driver." Tony says

" But they were on their way to pick me up from school. If I wasn't alive they'd still be alive!" I yell

" It wouldn't have made a difference they'd still be dead and I wouldn't have my sister." Tony says

" Well it's not like you were around much anyways." I say

" What's that supposed to mean?" Tony asks

"Let's just say your sister was never your top priority." I say

" I joined the band because I knew it would get big. That way I could provide for my sister. I did it for you!" Tony yells

" When mom and dad died there was no one to show my accomplishments to. You always came home late and left early in the morning. I never saw you!" I yell

I was crying now. I've never fought with my brother. And this was bad.

" I always looked at your papers!" Tony yells

" You didn't do the band for me. You did for yourself. You thought of me afterwards." I say

" No I didn't stop being a bitch!" Tony yells

I was taken back. He's never called me that before. By the look on his face he didn't expect to say that either.

" Go to hell Tony!" I yell

I stomp off to my bunk and by the looks on the other boys faces they had heard the whole thing.

I get inside my bunk and scream into my pillow. I scream it out. I kick around in my bunk until I'm sure I will get bruises.

And I screamed until my voice was hoarse. I was crying. And the voices wouldn't stop.

You're a failure. Your own brother doesn't like you.

If anyone should go to hell it should be you.

I couldn't result to my blades now because I had flushed them down the toilet. I didn't know if anyone would come to see if I was alright.