Everything || Loki x Reader

⇝ Chapter Ten

When The Avengers heard that you needed medical assistance, they didn't know what to think, or what could've happened. Clint suspected Loki turned on them, but strangely, the rest of them didn't think he would. Not to you. He would never leave you to fend for yourself.

It was bad, especially after you passed out. Loki almost shed a tear, but held it in like every emotion he's ever had. He didn't care if you saw him being vulnerable, not after this, but he'd be damned if he let anyone else see this side of him.

When he looked down and noticed your breathing had stopped and your eyes had closed, he wanted nothing more than to break down because he thought yet again something was being taken from him, as if the universe directed all of its misery and sadness toward him.

He remained calm even after Dr. Cho and Bruce took you away. All he could do was lock himself in his room for the rest of the day. It caught the Avengers by surprise when he stopped in and threw down the scepter because they thought he would want to keep it now.

At a quarter after midnight, Loki is sitting in your room without his armor. He's wearing a black shirt and black sweatpants as if in mourning. You're not dead, but it feels as though you're not here. This is the only time he visits you--midnight to 7a.m. then training with Steve at eight and onward with his miserable day. Alone.

There's a bandage wrapped around your neck and your hair is sprawled across the pillow and Loki can't stop staring at your face. They removed the tube that had been lodged down your throat yesterday and he wonders what the repaired skin under your bandages will look like.

He doesn't blame himself although he thinks he should've protected you more. Loki can't get the image out of his head of your melted flesh and you dying in his arms. It's like a nightmare he can't wake up from. Even now he can still hear your gravel voice saying his name.

"Loki!"

Loki's eyes focus in on your furrowed eyebrows and confused expression.

"(Y/N)! You are awake," Loki rushes, quickly standing from his chair and leaning over your form to inspect you with his magic.

"Yeah, I realized that. Thanks," you reply sarcastically.

Your throat is sore and aching but you ignore it. You're incredibly surprised to see Loki by your bedside and see the clock read 12:36a.m.

"How long have I been out?" you question as your arm reflexively goes to your wrapped throat.

"Four days, six hours, twenty-nine minutes and thirteen seconds," he replies, slowly sitting back in the uncomfortable chair.

"How are you here alone? Shouldn't someone be with you?" you question, a little worried that he'll get in trouble with Fury.

"I am off probation. Director Fury instated me as an Avenger and said the battle with the Frost Giants could count as my test."

"That's great!" you exclaim and sit up only to break out in a cough.

"Take it easy," Loki scolds, reaching over to run a hand over your back.

"Sorry," you respond, reaching around your neck to take off the bandage.

"I do not think you should do that."

"It's fine. It's probably all healed anyway," you say, peeling off the cotton and tossing it in the trash. "Well?"

Loki's expression doesn't falter and you start running your hand along your neck until you feel two small bumps on the back. You throw your hair to the side and see that Loki is holding out a small mirror. You look into it and see no markings anywhere except two small scars in the shapes of crescent moons... or finger nails right under the hairline on the back of your neck.

"Battle scars," you mumble with a smile as you hand the mirror back to Loki and he makes it disappear.

"I have quite a few myself. All those wars leave mental scars as well as physical," Loki says, sitting on the edge of your bed. "Would you like to see?"

"Only if you're comfortable with it," you reply, crossing your legs under the blanket.

"Of course." Loki puts out his arm and lets part of his illusion disappear, revealing a thin scar across his bulging bicep. "Almost got my whole arm cut off with a thin sword."

"How many do you have?"

"Enough for hours worth of bedtime stories."

"Why don't you keep them visible? Are you ashamed of them?" you inquire.

"Not at all. I usually do not have to hide them because I am covering my entire body, but when I wear Midgardian clothing, I prefer to keep them under an illusion because they are personal. I do not wish to show my battle scars to those who should not lay eyes upon them."

"So it's an honor sort of thing? You believe people will ask question you're not willing to answer?"

"Precisely," Loki replies. "All they do is remind me of who I used to be in Asgard. A warrior, a prince, and a lie."

You reach over and put a hand on Loki's arm. "You're still a warrior and a prince. The only thing that happened was your blindness to the lies you were told and believed. It's not your fault."

"No. If I were with any remaining loyalty or honor of who I used to be, you would not have gotten hurt. I would have protected you."

"I'm not yours to protect," you whisper.

"But I want you to be. I do not just go around kissing everyone I see fit," Loki says, never breaking eye-contact.

"That's why you kissed me?" you ask.

"It is not just that. Ever since I saw you, I have felt something. You were gorgeous and so kind and not an ignorant mewling quim. You are so smart and loving and I cannot get you out of my mind. Everyday we were together, I did not want to take my eyes off of you because maybe you were not real, maybe you were an illusion of the perfect woman I conjured up to help cope with my depression.

"I kissed you because I could not hold myself back from what was right in front of me. You were alive and flesh and immortal. When you got hurt, I thought the one good thing that has ever happened to me has been taken away. My nightmare was becoming reality."

You grab the front of Loki's shirt and pull him toward you in a gentle kiss. It's like the first time.

"Reality is the real nightmare, but that makes this a dream and I'm not going anywhere, I promise. This is one dream we won't wake up from," you mutter against Loki's lips once you pull away.

"I will keep you to that."