Josh Dun imagines

Comfort

  Everything sucks.
I hadn't moved in days, I had barely eaten anything today, I couldn't even bare to look at my phone that hadn't stopped buzzing since this morning. My brain wouldn't let me do anything.
My head felt like it was being split open, and I had maxed out on pain killers a while ago. My tear ducts ran dry yesterday, and now I'm just numb. And let me tell you, numb is way worse than sad. I would kill to feel something, anything. But then again I didn't want to go through another panic attack. So now I was stuck in emotional limbo.
Time kept slipping away. I'd sleep for a few hours, wake up, stare at the ceiling, and then fall asleep again. This cycle went on and on and I honestly couldn't tell you what day it was anymore.
I think it was late afternoon when he showed up. A strip of sunlight from behind my curtains fell across my room and caught his pink hair. As soon as he stepped into my room I turned away and covered my head with my pile of blankets.
"Heather, you can't hide away forever," I felt my bed dip down on the opposite corner. Damn. He never used my full name. "Come on, let me in."
My breathing grew irregular as my thoughts weighed me down yet again.
"Let me help you."
"Josh," I breathed out. I usually loved how his name felt on my lips, but now it tasted bitter. "Just leave."
"Now you know I'm not going to do that," he said, laying a hand on my leg. "I'm not leaving until I see your face."
I sighed. He was always so difficult when these types of things happened. But in the end I was always thankful for what he did for me. I slowly slid the blankets down so that my head was uncovered.
"There. Now you can leave," my voice cracked. He climbed onto the bed so that he was laying next to me. I felt his fingers softly comb through my hair. He knew that I wasn't ready to talk so we continued to sit in silence. My back was still facing him so he decided to start tracing shapes on my shoulder.
"Hev. You can't keep doing this. It scares me." He finally said.
"You think I want to keep doing this?" I asked, turning to lay on my back. I couldn't look at him just yet.
"That's not what I meant. I just.." He trailed off, "I wish you would call me when you start feeling like this. I would drop everything to be here with you."
"And what happens when you're halfway across the world Josh? What happens when thousands of people need you more than me? What happens when you don't love me anymore?" I choked out.
"I will always love you," Josh whispered. He brought his hand up to my face and turned it so that I was looking at him. "I know that sometimes I suck at telling you that. You need to hear it way more than I say it. I love you so much Hev."
I didn't know what to say so I just moved my head so it rested on his shoulder. Josh didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around me tightly.
"You're my best friend," I felt his lips press onto my forehead. "My girlfriend," my temple next. "My love," cheek. "My everything," and finally my lips. The kiss was short and sweet and exactly what I needed. I cuddled closer to him and finally felt a smile spread across my lips.
It was amazing what one boy could make me feel. He could erase all my worries and make me believe that nothing could ever go wrong. He is exactly what I need.
"Hey, Josh?"
"Yes, Heather?"
"I love you." I yawned.
"I love you too," he whispered, pressing another kiss onto my forehead. I could tell we were both about to fall asleep.
"Oh, and one more thing."
"Hm?"
"Thank you."