February 29, 2013. School was okay that day. I got a C on a math quiz but I had aced my civics test. Everyone acted normal, nothing special happened during school hours. I got home did my homework and decided to write poetry and songs when I should've been studying for the upcoming SAT. I wanted to get into an Ivy League college so it was crucial that I score high on the SAT. A 2400 would be ideal but there was a slim chance of that occurring. Anyway, I selected my perfectly created Ed Sheeran, Coldplay, Snow Patrol, Green Day, and Jake Miller playlist. Before plunging into the world of writing, one must always be prepared with the perfect environment and atmosphere. My poetry isn't exactly poetry. It is more of rants combined with a hint of flowing rhythm. Its pretty stupid actually but I enjoy it. Here's some.
As she stared out the window the sunset arrived, and as she looked up to God and said who am I? Am I a lie? Help me to rise again as the glimmering tears fall.......they stain your face, for you've lost something you can't replace. You've lost the will to live, the happiness and love, the only one who understood you is now above. Whistling to my shadows said they said she knows kids, they only grow, when they're happy I see. Now I'm stuck in this position......this complex unaddition this stupid superstition this scar our new addiction........this life. Words you never said and things you never did they all come back to bite you in the end. The laughs still fresh on your tongue like it was only yesterday, feels like just .26 miles away but kid I should tell you its not. It is too late. The tune just pops into my head, the magic in my fingers but oh I can't believe you're dying. Oh, I can't believe you're crying. I will keep on smiling just because I know it will give you reason to survive...reason to stop the pain tonight. More than one way than suicide, you can take it up to me and I will hold you close. I will always be free to love.......free to hold and cry the night with.
I finish my rant/poem/thing and begin to text. Naturally, I have to text everyone first because I'm just a loner like that. Soon I'm having a conversation with Camryn. Apparently, life isn't being very nice to her right now. I never really knew the source behind her sadness. I try to comfort but it doesn't help very much and I decide to leave her to her depression. There's nothing I could really do anyway so why bother? I Skype Brianna and listen to her boy problems but she soon leaves me to go to the movies with some of her friends. I feel sad because Camryn is sad and because Brianna makes me feel like a loner. I don't like being alone. I was diagnosed with severe monophobia at the age of 11. I start to feel upset and depressed. No one really cares about me. They all treat me like shit and act like they love me sometimes but they really don't. I'm so tired of it. I want to cut but instead decide to first rant about my feelings to Camryn. She forbids me from cutting and gives me a pretty heated lecture. It doesn't help much and I actually want to die. I've always thought it funny that once you are actually gone people start to care about you. And that's my problem. I think no one really loves or cares about me and maybe if I die they'll care and miss me and live with regrets. I want people to suffer consequences for their lies.
YOU ARE READING
The Memories of Jordan Rick
Ficțiune adolescențiThe end was inevitable but before I leave.......I can share a few more memories. Listen to my story because its the last thing I'll ever tell.
