Misunderstood

Chapter 13

*Emily's POV*

I walked in and helped my mom put everything up. Afterwords she went to sleep and I was left alone once again. With nothing to do I laid on the couch and closed my eyes. 

I opened them a few minutes later, and sat up. I took my phone out, and texted Camila

Me: Hey It's Emily

Camila: Heyy :) what's up..

Me: Nothing really, just got back from grocery shopping. and you?

Camila:  That's nice, and I'm just listening to music.

Me: That's nice :)

Camila: Yes it is.

I put my phone down.I hated when conversations got to this point. It was only 2:24 and there was nothing to do. While everyone was out partying with their friends, I was here being a lame loner. With no life.

Why does it feel like the pain will last forever. I don't understand. I don't understand life. I decided to sleep it off. I went upstairs to my room, and threw myself on my bed. I laid there looking at my scars and cuts. Everyone of them had a story behind it. I felt tears coming out as I remembered all the words and the laughs and stares. Alone in this world with no one to my side.

I fell asleep.

*Dream*

I found myself in a field all i could see was grass. The sky was grey, it looked like it was going to thunderstorm. I looked around but saw nothing. I started to walk thinking that further down I would find something. I stopped at the sound of Crows? I ignored it and started walking. The sound got closer and closer. I turned around to find 8 crows charging at me. I tried to run but they got to me faster. They started flying around me. Their wings flapping in my ear. Then they started to....talk...at first it sounded like a bunch of random words then it became clear. "slut" "whore" "Bitch" one by one the names i get called at school were being thrown at me. "Good for nothing" "go die" "No one likes you" I tried to run but it was useless. They followed me. Then I heard my name from far away. I tried to look where it was coming from but the crows got in my way. I heard it again this time closer I looked up and saw a hand i tried to reach for it but my hand was pecked. And I was forced to thr ground by the crows

*End of Dream*

I opened my eyes. The scene still in my head. I stared up at the ceiling for a minute. Who was the person trying to save me? Why would they want to save me? 

I looked at my phone 3:36. Just then my mom walked in "hey were you asleep?" I nodded and yawned. "Well I came  in to tell you that I'm leaving and that I left you some money on the counter." She walked in and gave me a kiss on my forehead and left. I sat up. For once we didn't argue. I kept sitting there. The words of the dream ringing in my head. 

"Good for nothing" It couldn't forget that one. Was it true? I mean I'm nothing important here. I'm nothing. Knowing that I'm not like the others, I'm not talented hurts. I walked over to my drawer and opened it reaching for what I wanted. Scissors. 

Not thinking about it twice, I made 3 more cuts along with the others. I watched the blood come out painfully. I felt hot tears build up. I walked to the bathroom. Looking at myself. I'm such a mess. Why can't I just put myself together? I let the tears fall. While I cleaned my arm I remembered how my dad would carefully clean the scraps I got from falling off my bike. It brought more tears. He left, and he left a huge hole in me. Emptiness, that's what I feel. I don't want feel like this anymore. I need some one to make me feel better.

After a while I straightened myself up a little. I walked over to my bed where my phone was noticing I had a missed call and a message. The missed call was from Alex and so was the message.

Alex: Hey :) um.. What are you doing later?

I called him back.

"Hello?" he answered

"Hey"

"Oh, hey, what's up"

"Nothing just got up from a nice sleep"

"Nice, so did you get my message?"

"Um, yes I did..and to answer it..nothing why?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to do something. You know hang out"

I smiled a bit. "Um, I don't know. Do you want to?"

"Up to you"

"Well, I guess so..what should we do then?"

"Umm..how about I go to your house"

I thought fo a while. "Sure"

"See you later" and then he hung up

I sat there for a while. Then i got up and looked for a hoodie to cover up my arm. I went downstairs to wait on him. I sat on the couch and turned on the TV. I really never watched TV so I mostly flipped through the channels. 

After ten minutes for flipping through channels I heard a knock on the door. I opened it and met his blue eyes. He smiled at me. "Um uh come in" I finally said. He walked in and sat down. "So" I said "What now?" He looked at me and shrugged. "What is there to do?" he asked. I sat down too. "We could walk around the neighborhood, or watch TV, play outside?"

He thought for a while "Lets walk then watch a movie" I nodded "Alright" and we walked out the door.

It was a little cold outside but it felt good. Alex told me about how he loved football but never really played it so that's why he went with soccer. And about what  he planed to do after high school. I half listened and half daydreamed about living in a perfect world. "So what would you like to do after school?" he asked me. I shook my head to concentrate on his question. "I don't know yet" I said letting a big sigh come out. He smiled "Its alright I didn't know either when I was sixteen" I smiled 

 It was getting dark and cold so we went inside. I went to the kitchen. "Thirsty?" I asked. "Water please" I handed him a bottle of water and followed him to the living room. I hadn't been long since we met but he felt like a brother to me, and I think I was starting to like him. I looked at him as he drank his water. Creep right? He looked at me "What?" I looked the other way "Nothing"

"So what are we going to do? Just sit here?" Alex said. "Well I don't know what to do!" I admitted. He got up and sat next to me. "Well.." he started looking into my eyes. I looked back at his. He got closer. It was getting weird. I mean we had only met like not even 2 weeks ago. I turned the other way "Lets watch TV" I said nervously. "Ok" was all he could say. From then on he was very quiet.

We decided on watching A Walk to Remember . It was a good movie. The end made me sad though.  

Alex ended up leaving around 8. I was left all alone once again. I went upstairs. I turned my music on and started to draw. I hadn't drawn anything in a while. I drew an infinity sign with love written in the middle of it. It was a nice drawing on of my good ones. 

It was late when I finished so I just went to bed, since there was nothing else to do. Hoping that tomorrow would be a better day.