Emotions.

Forgiveness

It's a constant feeling, in the corner of my mind.

Like it's pulling and tearing and ripping me apart.

It's a feeling I can't let go.

Like a broken hallelujah.

Where the voices find their muse.

And the words flow from.

Where the darkness invades through cracks in the defense.

Like there's cracks in walls that keep me inside.

And there's cracks in the pavement that I dig my heels in.

It fuels the fake smiles and bleak eyes.

The lies become so complicated that I believe them.

A shoebox for a chest cavity and drawers in my stomach.

And I swallow the words but they get compartmentalized in the crawl spaces.

And the beast still squirms next to wisdom as she speaks.

And as many times as I've tried I still cannot write one happy tune.

So baby I'm sorry.

That I can't see the wonders before my eyes.

And I can't feel the freedom we are promised.

With the loss of family and friends.

I cry out in anticipation of the knives in my back.

And God forgive me! Because I believe a lot of lies that come from a lot of good liars! namely my own mind.

But at the cross of Christ I know that the bonds of sin are broken and I am forgiven of my resentment.

At the chapel of Him I cry out my own truths in hope of forgiveness...at the cross of Christ I know that he bled of the forgiveness that I plead for without any prompt.