HeartBeat[Niall Horan]

Chapter 8

I can't explain how much I miss Niall. These two weeks since I left him have been terrible. I've had a few making out sessions with Harry but they didn't mean anything. I still love Niall. Yes I love him. Harry probably doesn't know. I've tried calling Niall dozens of times. No answer. I've left messages and texts begging him to answer me, still nothing.

I sat staring out the window of the local cafe watching the rain drops racing down it. I've started smoking again too. It helps me forget my troubles a bit and it calms me. Harry doesn't know of course because if he did he would probably take them off me, he's really protective of me. It's cute but sometimes annoying. He doesn't let me go out for a walk after it's dark.

Niall has even been ignoring Harry. All i've done is apologize but he still ignores me. I just wish all of this would blow over and we could go back to the way we were. I got up from the table and left the cafe. The rain didn't really bother me right now and I didn't want to bother getting Harry to pick me up. So I walked. My make up was probably all over my face now but I didn't bother wiping it.

By the time I got to Harry's I was drenched. I still can't thank Harry enough for letting me stay with him. I fiddled around my pocket trying to find my keys. I felt a peice of paper. I don't keep bits of paper in my pockets. My soaking hands finally pulled out the paper.

I opened up the peice of paper to reveal a note.....From Niall? It read:

Dear Lillyan,

I'm not the best at writing letters but I'm going to give it my best. So by the time you read this you'll be long gone and our realtionship will over too. I just want you to know I never ment to hurt you in anyway. I was stupid and selfish and I pushed you away. I'm sorry Lillyan. I hope wherever you are now your happy and that you've moved on. I never deserved you and I hope you find someone who will love you and won't be an asshole like I was because you deserve so much better. I love you so much Lillyan never forget that. I always have loved you and always will. I hope you have a happy life. Don't bother calling me or texting me, I'll be gone. And I dont want you to come look for me.

Much love, Niall x

A hot tear escaped my eyes. Why didn't I find this before. I burst through the door after finding my keys. Harry was sat on the couch and once he noticed me in my heroic outburts he jumped up from the couch. I was completely broken.

I slid down the cold wall and hugged my knees close to me. Harry sat down next to me.

"What happened" He asked placing an arm round my back. I leaned into his shoulder. I didn't say anything instead I handed him the letter. It took him a while to process what was written on it. He placed the letter on the ground. "I'm so sorry Lillyan" he whispered. I shook my head. There was no reason he should be apologizing. He's done nothing but good for me. He's done nothing but be there for me when I needed someone. When no one was there. He was the only one who helped me get through the breakup but I'm not over him just yet.

I still wonder if he's the one or not and if it would be stupid to go look for him again and apologize for walking out on him and being a bitch.

"I have to go look for him Harry" Harry sighed. "If that's what you really want to do, If it makes you happy" He said stroking my hair. I lifteded my head from his shoulder and looked at me. He reached a hand up to my face a wiped a tear away.

"Harry I just want you to know, if Niall and I ever become a thing again you'll always be my best friend and you'll be the closest to my heart than anyone else"

I pulled him into a tight hug. "Let's go to sleep" I whispered. He nodded and stood up and helped me up from the floor. He picked me up bridal style and carried me to his bedroom. Yes I've been sleeping next to Harry since the day I left Niall. I couldn't bare being alone. If I was alone all I could think about was Niall and I would probably become depressed or something. But just because I'm sleeping with Harry doesn't mean we're together.

Yes i've kissed him but why does it matter. It's not like i'm dating Niall at the moment so I guess it's not a problem. But I still love Niall which is why I regret kissing him although he is an amazing kisser.

I woke up rather early the next morning wrapped around Harry. He was still fast asleep. His breathing slow and heavy. He looked so cute when he was asleep.

I carefully unwrapped myself from Harry trying not to wake him. I succeeded. I put on my dressing gown and headed to the living room. I switched on the telly and looked for something decent to watch. There was nothing to watch so I decided to watch the news. Not my favourite thing to watch but I needed to know at some point what was going on in the world.

But then something about a young guy being hit by car was spoken about. And just then they showed the injured guy that was hit. I couldn't believe my eyes.

Niall?