Bear journals

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Journal: Page Siete

31 July 2009 6:06 pm

Drawing room 

My day began with a bang. Quite literally.

I'd been dreaming of happier times when a series of crashes and clangs woke me up. 

It was Mae. And dad. 

They were having a tug of war in the kitchen and dropping the utensils that were scattered across the place.

A tug-of-war.

With the cuffs of dad's shirt acting as the rope.

I could not believe my own eyes.

I take back my previously said (written) words. I didn't hate Mae. In all honesty, I worshiped the very ground she walked upon. She was the only one in our house who had the guts to pick a fight with the man who'd entered our lives without a moment's notice.

She treated him as she would treat a stranger. And I loved her for it.

The little tug-of-war had managed to awaken the entire household. I heard the little giggles and short laughs coming from mom and Ellie as they took in the scene before them.

I say heard because the teddy's head just wouldn't turn. It was hard enough pretending to be lifeless, now the mechanism of the bear also seemed to have broken down. Perfect.

After multiple failed attempts, I finally managed to turn around without attracting any attention to myself. And procceded to take in the sight before me.

The tug-of-war was moving at an intense pace. Secretly, I was cheering Mae on and hoping she would tear his shirt like he'd torn our hearts--in half.

Mom hesitatingly took a step forward, her mind in a dilemma.

Suddenly her distressed facial expression morphed into a mischievous smile that took me by surprise. I'd become so accustomed to her sadness (courtesy of me) that I'd completely forgotten how she looked like when she wasn't unhappy.

Beautiful.

She took slow, calculated steps to the sink, quickly filled a glass to the brim and tiptoed towards dad and the dog. The two of them were oblivious to their surroundings. Using this to her own advantage, she poured the glass of water over their heads. 

Without missing another beat, she sprinted out of the room with a smug smile blooming on her face, leaving all of us gaping in shock at her back.

What just happened?

For a minute or two, all we did was look at each other in bewilderment. The next thing I knew was Dad, Mae, and Ellie were chasing mom down the hallway. Mom's screeches could be heard throughout the town as she tried to outrun them.

We could pass off as a normal, happy family.

Almost pass off as a normal, happy family.

Because there was pain hidden behind every laugh. Hurt, regret and sorrow behind the facade of a joke. 

The past can never truly be forgotten. 

I was lost in my own thoughts when everyone walked downstairs with wide smiles stretched across their faces.

'Did you have to Fred?' Mom whined with a slight curve of her lips.

'Yes, yes I did. You're the one who started it.' Dad replied in a monotone. 

That's when I realized mom's hair was also dripping wet. So he did get his revenge.

The conversation dragged on in a similar manner with occasional snorts of disbelief and eye-rolls, until Ellie, who had been sitting in the corner through the conversation, dropped the bomb.

"I wish Marcus was here. It feels empty without him." She muttered in a dejected voice. I took in a sharp breath.

Mom walked over to her and sat down. She took her hand in hers and bit her lip. She had just opened her mouth to say something when dad spoke up.

"All of us can go tomorrow to meet him." He said, looking pointedly towards at Ellie "I wonder how he'll react when he sees me."

Mom's face perked up at this and Ellie tried to wipe away the tears that had escaped her eyes.

She helped Ellie up and then made her way to the kitchen while dad turned towards the staircase.

Ellie simply stood in her place and played with the hem of her shirt. I remember her sending a desperate glance towards me before saying her next words in a low, almost inaudible tone.

"Sure, Marcus would be happy to see us. That is if he ever wakes up from the coma."