Welcome To The Media (Dylmas AU)

22. Just One Date

A/N:
SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME THE ATTACHED PICTURE IS FAKE I CRY

anywho-

42 days remaining

Dylan's pov

I could feel something was wrong the moment I woke up the next day.

As I sat up in bed, wiping drearily at my eyes, there was a strange twisting in my gut. My first thought was crap, I'm sick, and then grudgingly reiterated, no actually, just lovesick. I rolled my eyes at myself, pushing the covers aside. Shaking my head, I convinced myself that maybe a cold shower would whip some sense into me.

The feeling didn't go away though, not even after dousing myself in soap and rubbing my skin raw, as though I could wash away my unease. With the water cascading down my back, I watched the water collect near the drain, wishing my worries would trickle away as easily. Thirty minutes after entering the shower, I gave up, but the ominous feeling in my stomach continued to linger.

When I sat down for breakfast, the food didn't taste quite right either. There was a bitter tang in my mouth, one that didn't fade no matter how many pancakes I downed, or how many glasses of milk I chugged. It stayed there, as though tasting that something was wrong too.

My day on set was relatively quiet. That was perhaps the most unusual. Usually Thomas or Kaya or Will or Ki would show up to make me laugh, but no one came by. It was just me, alone, with only the sinking feeling in my gut to keep me company.

And throughout the day, I couldn't help but notice that I felt as though I was unbalanced. Not physically, but in a way I couldn't quite explain. Something was most definitely wrong, and I felt helpless not knowing what it was. I texted my mom, I texted Tyler, I even called my manager, but everyone was quick to reassure me that they were fine, everyone was fine, everything was just as it always was. And when they asked me why I was so concerned, I couldn't explain to them the helpless feeling of regret and remorse that had followed me like my shadow all day; I couldn't tell them that I kept picturing a little kid on a windy day, trying desperately to gain control of his kite, when a strong gust of wind suddenly came by and tore the string from his outstretched fingers. I couldn't tell them that I was that little boy, knowing the wind was going to do something terrible, and yet completely hopeless as I watched my greatest fear come to life. I couldn't explain the helpless feeling of confusion and fear, so I didn't. I just said that I wanted to say hello.

It was like standing on a thin rope, teetering towards falling to my death and yet somehow managing to keep safe. Something had happened, I could feel it. The universe was not working in my favor, and though I couldn't quite explain exactly how I knew, it felt quite obvious to me: something had gone amiss in my life. I knew with utmost certainty, the same way I knew the sun would rise tomorrow and the Earth would keep rotating, that something or someone I had trusted had not acted as I had planned.

And it wasn't until I had dinner with Kaya that I understood why.

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"...and the stupid thing bit me!" Kaya finished her story with an indignant cry. She dropped her fork and flourished her hand in my direction, showing me her scar.

"Well, you shouldn't have taken the koala's food," I replied, half laughing, half exasperated. I took another bite of my dinner, eyeing her carefully from across the table.

Kaya rolled her eyes. "Someone could have warned me," she said with a huff.

I snorted, but didn't bother to answer. I nudged my chicken with my fork, not exactly full, but not really having the desire to eat it either. It was quite strange, but my stomach refused to settle comfortably enough for me to eat. The dubious feeling from earlier had yet to cease, and now that I sat with Kaya it seemed to have increased tenfold.