Living Like A Runaway

Rockaway Beach

A/N: Trigger warning JUST in case... Be safe.

-Two Days Later-

"Damn, Stella, open the fucking door!" My boyfriend yelled from the other side, in a flaming fury. He'd finally came back from Mexico along with the rest of his band, and he was fucking pissed when I tried to pretend I wasn't there. It was actually stupid on my part to think he wouldn't try coming to my house first.

Things went quiet for a second, and I held my breath, hiding under the covers and hugging one of my pillows. I had no idea how I was supposed to deal with this; I quite frankly wasn't ready. "I'm gonna break this goddamned door down if you don't fucking open it now!" I knew it was in my best interest, so, painstakingly, I did it.

Axl was breathing heavily when I saw him, and his whole face almost resembled his hair in color. "Care to tell me what the fuck is going on with this cutting bullshit? You're not an attention-seeker, so what the hell is your problem, Stella? Do you know how fucking selfish that was? How fucking shitty I felt? You fucking made me think I wasn't good enough for you! Not good enough a reason to stop you from taking a fucking knife to your skin!"

"Yeah?!" I shouted back, my voice trembling. "How fucking shitty do you think I had to feel to do that? How much do you think I had to despise myself and feel not good enough to use that as a fucking resort?" My throat burned a little, and I almost felt like passing out. "How the fuck do you think I felt when you fucking abandoned me when I needed you most?" At this point, I was genuinely shaking, and I felt almost as manic as Axl did on a daily basis.

The singer went quiet, and all of a sudden, it was like he shut down. "I- I'm sorry..." Axl spoke quietly, his voice cracking. "I just... Stella, you might as well have been cutting me instead..." He examined me instead; I must have looked completely insane. "Baby, I love you..." he almost whimpered now, stepping closer. All I could do was cry into his arms; we both cried into each other's arms.

Once it was all out, Axl looked at my tear-soaked face and kissed my forehead, sighing. "You have to promise me you're going to tell me if this happens again, y'know..."

I frowned up at him. "Not if you're going to get pissed and lose your shit on me. I know you well enough, Axl." Even if he promised he wouldn't, I had a suspicious feeling that he would anyway. I'd just have to find a better place for if it happened again. Axl never answered me again; he just held me closer.

"Now, what are we going to do about Sonic?" Axl asked me a few minutes later. "Because if it wasn't for a goddamned tour, I'd kick the shit out of her, I don't give a fuck if she's a chick." I giggled a little, snuggling up to him with a shrug. I felt the exact same way, but I feel like my revenge would be less obvious.

Not five minutes later, the door made a little creek, and I turned around to see a fluffy-looking Steven Adler popping his head in. "Uh, did you two make up, or..?" We both sat up now, and I smiled with a nod at him. Steven took this as the prime opportunity to literally jump onto the bed and tackle-hug us happily. "We were all gonna go to a water park, all nine of us, both our bands! You two wanna come?"

Instead of answering, Axl looked at me. I had to think for a moment, and then I remembered that I had another swimsuit, with bottoms that would cover my cuts; I always cut close to my bikini line on my legs, anyway. WIth the bathing suit I was thinking of, some scars would be visible, but none of the actual wounds would be. "Sure!" I answered happily, giving the drummer a grin. He told us to get ready, then we'd pop by their place so the boys could get their stuff.

Once Steven left and I stood up, Axl asked, "You have a bathing suit that'll cover the, uh, cuts, then?" I laughed a bit, nodding, and went into my closet to change. It was a black bikini top with a styling that almost reminded me of Marilyn Monroe. The bottoms were a black skater swim skirt with a silver belt at the waistline. It was a longer skirt than most swim skirts, I had to say, but it worked.