Details---A Connor Franta Fanfic

Chapter Three

----- One month later-----

I bounded into the hospital room, smiling at the other patients and staff members in the room before going over to my mum's bed. She didn't look too bad, in fact she looked pretty kickass. She laughed at me shaking her head as I almost fell off the bed. I laid next to her as I usually did and held out the envelope. 

"Ah, so this is why you are so happy. Have you opened it yet?"

I scoffed and looked to mum "Nope, I haven't seen any part of it besides the NYU stamp on the top. I am happy, but also very very worried." 

"You didn't want Tanya to open it with you?" She looked at me with a tear starting to skip down her cheek. I laughed shaking my head "Mum, don't do that!" She looked at me sheepishly her midnight blue eyes dancing with excitment. Same with mine.

"On the count of three, Mum I want you to open it." Mum;s eyes widened and she shook her head "Nope, it's yours you have to open it." 

I sighed, in sickness still stubborn. I took the envelope from her and looked at it biting my lip. I let everyone in on what was happening a while ago and they all were pretty excited too. I think I was the only one nervous. 

"Actually can we was TimTam and get her on? I think it would be easier if she heard it too." Mum nodded smiling at me, in that way parents do when they look at their children they're proud of. 

I called Tanya and waited for her to pick up. There wasn't an answer but as soon as I was about to leave her a message and then call her again she slid into the room and ran over to me in angst. I giggled at her antics and mum just shook her head "Always the same. Now open it M!" 

I hesitated, my hand hovering over the opening, not knowing how it was going to go. Don't get your hopes up too high yet. 

Before I even registered what happened the envelope was torn and on my lap while the letter was safely in my hands. I looked at the first sentence, my heart beating harder and harder, 

To whom it may concern,

We regret to tell you that you have not been accepted into our programme for next year's fall-----

I didn't bother reading the rest of it, well I couldn't since the tears were blurring my vision. "Oh sweetie, are you okay?" My mum's hand hugged me from the side, I knew she read it and so had Tanya, as soon as she saw my eyes she ran over and skimmed her eyes over it. 

"Oh shit. That sucks. I don't know what to say." I shook my head and kissed mum quickly on the forehead before running out of the room, tears streaming down my face. My breathing quickened as I pushed my way down into the elevator and outside. Fanning my face made the air more scarce and as the tears fell, I felt less and less self conscious as the people walking by on the busy street walked by. 

Okay yeah you are probably thinking "wow huge overreaction." but I had no other options, this was what I wanted to do. Just sit there and imagine your whole life, crumbling, breaking apart. Having mum in hospital has been hard enough, losing the only hope and legacy that your mother had asked. It isnt a very nice feeling is it? No I didn't think so.

I walked casually home, letting the tears fall silently while I thought. The pain subsided and I stared down at the piece of paper in my hand, shattering all hope of going to NYU. I shrugged to myself as I let myself think over my reaction. Okay well, yeah shit, that just happened. I didn't even want to go to college next year. I looked around at my surroundings, and smiled at the beautiful landscape. The trees that were scattered in an almost perfect manner, looked beautifully green against the graying sky above me. I stared at the gorgeous picture painted before sighing and walking away. 

I walked through the front door of our house and started up the stairs. Slamming my bedroom door I walked over to the desk and pulled out my video camera. 

"Hiya guys! How is it going? I just got back from seeing my dearest mother, who is doing very well, and holding on the superwoman I know she is. I am so proud to have her in my life, I couldn't have asked for anyone better. Anyway! Getting off of the subject! I just wanted to do a video, inspired by one of the walks I had recently taken. I want to talk about what inspires me most. I'm going to start by talking about the YouTubers that really pushed me to start this. One of them would have to be Danisnotonfire, I mean he is one of the cutest, funniest people I watched, and one of the first YouTubers I started to watch." I winked at the screen, forgetting about the letter that was now stowed away in the trash can under the desk. "Also, Connor Franta and Ricky Dillon, I love that they can make a joke of a lot of serious matters in this world, but be really sweet about it. They seem to have a very good grasp on the problems that this world faces. They seem to be geniunly the same people on and off camera, and that's what I like." I thought about other things that inspire me, before jumping onto another topic "My mum, she inspires me, she is so strong to have gone through what she did, and what she is. I just think that she should be more appreciated, same with a lot of mothers. If you don't challenge them, you would have a better relationship with her. Trust me, I went through a lot with Mum, we have fought lots and lots, and I always challenged her, when i stopped we started getting along more, she would let me do more stuff with my family and by myself. Try it, stop trying to get across you know more than your mother, because it is likely you don't. Another person or thing that inspires me, is nature. I know how that sounds, but honestly, take a walk. Now no, don't give me that look, I know what you are thinking, but take your phone or music making device out of your bedroom and go get exercise, while looking at all the plants, and trees around you, don't focus on your phone, or on the mechanical things, focus on those tiny little colours and count how many shades you see on one leaf. That inspires me, because something so wonderful lives in this world, and it doesn't know anything. Lastly to wrap this video up I want to say that my friends and family, people around me, inspire me. They joke around, can act serious and everything about them is so amazing. I have the most brilliant people in my life, You guys included. You have all helped me through hard times, and all of the things I said before are the reason I am sitting here still, talking to a camera about everything. I love you all, please don't stop being amazing!" I blew a kiss to the camera and winked before turning off the recording. 

I connected the camera into the computer and begun editing the film. I had been planning on doing a video for a while. I had been uploading up to 4 times a week, but lately it had been getting pretty hectic while mum was getting constant scanning for her bowel. 

I finished editing quickly, which didn't take long at all, before uploading it, which took lots longer. During the past few weeks I had been becoming a lot more popular on the YouTube area. Connor and Ricky share my videos quite a lot, and the rest of O2L do as well. I have heard that Tyler and Troye have watched my videos too, and liked the one from the last day of school, which always gets me giddy inside.  People on twitter have given me more recognition which is weird, I never thought that my twitter interactions could get so full! 

While I was uploading, I went on twitter, scrolling through the mentions and giggling at a few guys who had started watching the videos. I replied to as many of them as I could, hoping I could brighten up someone's life. I saw photos of my recent videos put up and laughed at the derped faces I apparently pull when I am doing a serious video. I retweeted them and saved a couple of photos of Connor's and our tweets into my phone. Remembering how a month ago, when I found out everything was falling to pieces that one sweet boy tweeted back. Making my year. 

The video finished it's uploading and when I looked over the last result I pulled myself out of the chair and collapsed into the bed, letting the darkness sweep over me, even though it was only 6 pm. I must have been more tired than I thought.