Endless

Window Shopping | Aleria

The mall Ryan and I went to glimmered like polished crystal. Chandeliers hung from high ceilings, adding light to the rays flooding through majestic windows. The place was full of people, rushing this way and that. None of them seemed to notice the beauty around them.

I watched humanity flow about me as we walked, fascinated. The people wore clothes so different from what I'd dreamed of so far. Tighter, shorter, almost overtly masculine, and yet... not. I was dressed differently too, wearing the same jeans and t-shirt Ryan had brought from the lost and found—freshly ironed.

Whatever I'd worn on the day of the crash, my only tangible connection to my life, had been destroyed. Which left me only with fractures and shadows instead of memories.

Ryan's hand slipped into mine, drawing my attention back to him. "You're frowning again," he said gently.

"Sorry," I said. "Just...thinking about the clothes I'd worn. I don't even know what they were."

His expression softened and he gave my hand a squeeze. "Hey. What you wore doesn't matter. Just think. You could have decided on comfort over style. Then your clothes would have told you you're a slob, even if it wasn't actually true."

Ryan was right, but they would have been a tangible connection. Still, I half-smiled. It was sweet of him to try so hard to make me feel better. He beamed at me and drew me closer to his side, curving his arm around my shoulder. The proximity to him sent thrills through me, as did his musky scent. I knew he could be dangerous, but being with him like this, I felt completely safe.

I put my arm around his waist and gave him a little hug, letting my gaze wander from place to place as we walked. The mall was filled with amazing displays, but one stood out so much, it brought me to a complete stop.

Mannequins dressed in party clothes, all wearing Carnival masks. Ryan jolted me a little before stopping before the marvelous display of designer dresses and drama.

"What is it?" he asked. "See something you like?"

"No, I... The masks." I pointed at one and moved away from him, toward the display.

"Well hello there, beautiful." Luc's lovely voice caressed the back of my neck and I squealed, giving him the biggest hug I could.

"You followed us here?" I asked, holding on to him as if he might disappear at any moment. When we'd left France, I'd left Luc behind and with him, my heart. Oh how I'd cried that day. He'd looked my age back then.

I stepped back and looked up at his face. Now he was somewhere in his twenties. He now looked older than me, while I barely seemed old enough to go to my first Carnevale party. The realization sent a stab through me and I lowered my gaze.

He was a man now, and I...I didn't even know what I was. A woman trapped in a child's body? A freak of nature. Either way, it wouldn't do to seem overly familiar with someone in public. It wasn't proper. Venice might have been home to Casanova, but in reality, life here was strict. I sent a furtive glance to my companion, who at least was kind enough to stay at a discrete distance for the duration of this conversation.

"We're both here," Luc said. "Armand tired of France."

I scowled up at him despite myself. "Please tell me he's not going to the Doge's party."

He frowned at me. "What if he is?"

"He'll spoil it," I lamented, causing Luc's frown to deepen. He always was devoted to his twin.

"I do wish you two would get along." Luc said.

"And I do so wish he'd stop being an ass." Or that he'd stop breathing, for that matter. I turned back to the display of Carnevale masks. I still needed to find a mask to match the dress I planned to wear to the party.

I heard Luc's heavy sigh behind me. "At least you're still glad to see me," he said and joined me by the window. "I missed you."

"I–I..." I wanted to say I missed him too, but if I had never before realized what a difference our lifespans made, I felt it keenly now. He'd be reborn long before I was, and then he'd outgrow me again and again. When I had my rebirth, it could take centuries for us to be together again.

It wasn't a way for us to live.

I swallowed my words and went to the next window, dashing at my tears. I tried to hide it, but Luc was too perceptive.

He caught my arm and forced me to face him. "Don't," he murmured, pulling me closer to him. "I'm here now."

I sobbed and held onto him. He stroked my back and whispered loving words into my ear. I felt the strength in his body, the play of his muscles beneath my fingers. But no matter how close we were, we'd never be together.

My heart ached as if that moment with Luc had just happened, instead of occurring hundreds of years ago in Renaissance Italy.

Ryan moved up behind me and wrapped me in his arms. We met each other's eyes in the window's reflection.

"Did you remember something?"

"Another thing with Luc." I didn't want to talk about it yet. It hurt too much. "Let's go."

He nodded and took me to another shop, where he insisted I try on everything my heart desired.

This scene always makes me so sad. What do you think of Luc? Let me know in the comments! I enjoy reading what you guys have to say. 

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