I Hate That I Love You |Sidemen Fanfiction|

.Chapter 4.

Porshea's POV

I entered my empty house and chucked my bag on the floor. I sighed and walked into the kitchen. As I walked in, I could see empty alcohol bottles and and ashtray full of cigarette buds. I grab the empty alcohol bottles and discarded it in the bin.

I feel like I'm their slave, like my parents are still young, my mum had me at a younger age and all, they deserve to have a little fun once in a while. But when its almost every day and they don't spend any time with their daughter, you tend to feel like an outcast. Feel like they are just avoiding you.

After discarding all the bottles, I took an apple from the fruit bowl and took a bite. I made my way back to the living room, grabbed my bag and went upstairs. I don't really want to be down here when my parents come back. I entered my room and flopped onto my bed.

I took another bite of my apple, and grabbed my phone, as I was getting an incoming call. I look at the caller ID and saw it was Sammie. I pressed the green button and put my phone against my ear. "Hey Sam!" I beamed. "Hey Po." Sammie retorts. "You okay? You are less enthusiastic, than you were today." I retort back. "Honestly, I'm fine Po." Sammie told me and I nodded, but then I realized that she couldn't see me. "Okay. So what's up?" I asked her.

"We need to have another sleepover." Sammie said and I laughed. "Sammie, we had one about a week ago?" I told her and she laughed. "Yes, but it was a week ago." She complained. "Okay, okay, fine." I told her and I swear I heard a faint 'yes'. "Mine or yours?" Sammie asked. "Yours." I told her. "Why is it always at mine?" She asked. I was about to make up a lie of some sort, but thats when I heard my front door open and close. "Sammie, my parents just got home, I'll talk to you later." I told her. I took the phone away from my ear and I heard a faint 'bye' before ending the call.

"P-PORSHEA G-GET DOWN H-HERE N-N-NOW!" I heard my mum stuttered whilst shouting. I let out a sigh. I put my phone in my pocket and left my room. I wonder what other insults I'll get thrown at me today by my parents. Once I got downstairs, I instantly ducked. I heard a smash and glass dropped around me. I heard laughter from around me, my mum and dad. I look at them both and saw them holding each other up, but failing in the process.

"A-Alright s-shitbag..." My dad stuttered, throwing another bottle at me, which I ducked at. Yep, this is my life, coming home to drunk parents that throw insults, bottles and well, anything they can get their hands onto. Last time it was sissors and yeah, didn't turn out good. The thing is, my parents are really nice once all the alcohol is out their system.

"Oi, b-bitch, a-answer your f-father." My mum stuttered, pushing me slightly. I felt tears form in my eyes. I tilted my head back, so they won't fall. "I-Is the w-worthless l-little f-freak crying?" I heard my dad say and I shook my head. I look at them both, my vision slightly blurry. My dad let go of my mum and went to me, grabbing my hair and pulling it, making me scream slightly. I then felt a stinging pain on my cheek, that made the tears fall. I look and saw my mum standing next to me, the emotion anger plastered on her face.

"I-I wish I-I n-never h-had you, y-you a-are a d-d-disappointment t-to this f-family." She spat and I felt more tears fall. My dad pulled my hair more, making me scream. Another slap. I got pushed against the wall by my dad and he laughed. My mum laughed with my dad. My mum grabbed a 2 cigarettes from her back pocket, alongside a lighter. They both lit it and puffed the smoke into my face making me cough.

Whilst coughing, my parents looked at each other and smirked. They looked back at me and grabbed my arms. My eyes widened and I tried my best to get out of their grip, but they held a tight grip. They placed the cigerette on my arm and I screamed. I already had so many burn marks on my arm from them, and now more. I honestly can't take this anymore, but I can't let them see that I'm breaking.

They laughed at me and flicked the cigarettes away. I knew what was going to happen next. Insults. You see, when Simon or Harry shout insults at his, I act all tough and fight back, but inside I'm breaking. But I'm not breaking so much as their insults don't hurt me, the insults from my parents hurt me more. You wouldn't expect parents to be that cruel to their kids, but well, you can see that mine are.

Ugly

Fat

Worthless

Disappointment

Freak

Cunt

Insults were thrown at me, and internally I was breaking even more. My parents don't see it, my friends don't see it, everyone doesn't see it. I just mask my emotions and say I'm fine, when inside, I'm asking for help.

My parents pushed me against the wall once more, making me hit my head. They laughed once more and left the house, probably to go to the shop to buy more cigarettes and alcohol. I ran up to my room and closed the door. I looked at the door handle and debated whether or not to lock the door. I would be safe if I locked it, but if I did, my parents would get pissed even more and would hurt me worse.

I locked my door, which made me feel a little safe, but I knew I would regret it. I went to my wardrobe and changed into something more comfortable. Once dressed, I looked in the mirror and lifted my shirt. Burn marks and fat. "Why am I fat?" I questioned, poking my stomach. I dropped my shirt and looked at my arms, visible circular burn marks littered my arms. I looked back at the mirror, tears fell from my eyes.

"Why am I so damn ugly?" I whisper as I cover my face with my hands. I fell to the ground and cried. I put my knees up to my chest and hugged them, placing my head upon my knees.

"Why do I have to suffer?" I cried.

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Sup people of the interwebs,

I would like to say that this isn't true. Before you guys get any ideas, this has nothing to do with my actual life, it just goes with the story. I hope you guys liked the chapter, slightly depressing, but yeah. I hope you liked the chapter, if you did, vote or comment, your choice. Thanks for reading, and I'll see you soon.

PoJayneBartaby