I'm Yours [h.s]

Chapter 20 ~The journal~

~The journal~ 

“What are you doing?” the beautiful brunette I was thinking about while scribbling in my journal peaked her head from our kitchen into the living room.

“Writing” I pointed to the journal and relaxed on the couch stretching my body, “Come ‘ere”

Lora walked over to me, donned in her small jeans shorts and one of my band shirts. I adored it when she wore my shirts; I think it’s a guy thing. I think she’s closer to me in a way when she’s dressed in my clothes.

She’s mine after all – not in a creepy possessive way.

“I miss you” I pecked her lips as I cradled her settling her on my lap.

“I miss you too love” she mumbled, digging her head between my shoulder and neck, “Can I read what you wrote?” she mumbled against my neck sending shivers throughout my body.

“Of course” I said without hesitation. Lora has always tried not reading my journal, but I knew she was a curious little cat.

She moved her head away from my neck and bent towards the table in front of us and grabbed the journal. Searching for the latest page I wrote in, she snuggled closer to me and smiled, reading out loud the scribbled awful hand writing I own.

“I love the way you always tend to forget that I don’t like sugar in my black tea, and add 3 spoons of sugar, but I drink it anyways. I love when you fake laugh at my jokes, I always catch the poker face you pull after it. I love that you’re actually interested in the new information I learn about daily. I love our date nights. I love how you always try keeping my car smell like a different fruit each month of the year, banana is my favorite. I love that you listen to me ramble about how my day went. I love how you always keep our home clean. I love those silly cheap gifts you always get me; they’re the best to keep in memory. I love how you have a foul mouth. I love you, and I love that you tell me you love me back every single day”

I heard her sniffle and I frowned, I didn’t mean to make her cry.

“I fucking love you, Harry Styles” she hugged me tight throwing the journal back on the table, “I love you so fucking much” she repeated. I wiped her eyes and hugged her kissing her temple.

“I love you too” I mumbled against her forehead.

~

“What is wrong with you today?” Louis asked, taking his eyes from the TV that was across the room. Feeling lonely sitting alone in my hotel room, I decided to go into one of the boys’ room’s, Louis was the closest.

“Nothing, why do you ask?”

“You’re so quiet, and you keep moving your leg, stop it” he hit my leg with his foot lazily, “It’s really irritating okay”

Louis despises it when people keep bobbing their leg up and down. I know it, since I got bruised from how many times he hit me there to make me stop. I only did it when I was nervous – and that is how Louis finds out there’s something wrong with me.

“Nothing” I mumbled, and diverted my eyes to the TV away from the where they were fixed on the lame colored carpeted floor.

Louis moved from his lazy posture on the couch, and sat up straight.

“Hey, what’s up Harry?” he changed his tone to the soft tone now. He always used this tone to get something out of me or the boys. Most times it worked. I didn’t reply this time though, I just stared at the TV.

Why was Louis watching a cooking show?

“Is it Molly?”

Just her name being said sent my head flying towards Louis. “Why would you say that? Of course not” I covered my abrupt behavior. Why did I suddenly react? Something is really wrong with me.

You fancy Molly.

I pushed the thought at the back of my brain. Sometimes my brain can be absurd.

“Look at you all jumpy when I said her name” Louis crossed his legs together, “You so fancy her don’t you?”

Oh so my inner mind and Louis agree now?

“Nope, not at all” I shook my head, “That sandwich looks really good” I changed the subject commenting about the cooking show that I really didn’t give a single hell about.

“Quit changing the subject, what’s up?” Louis is really an intrigued person.

“She’s avoiding me again, although like last week she told me how worried about me she was” I spilled.

“We all were worried”

“I know, but she was worried is a different thing. I thought we were going to be friends again” I chewed on my lip and closed my eyes, “This is so annoying! I don’t fancy her, I know I don’t fancy her, of course I don’t fancy her” there should be a drinking game for the times I said fancy here.

“Okay…” Louis said unsure, “You don’t fancy her…” I know he doesn’t believe me.

I’m not lying though. I don’t fancy Molly. I’m still not over Lora; I don’t want to get over Lora. Doesn’t mean because now I’m not mourning about her I’m just going to go and dance with rainbows.

“I just want us to talk ‘s all” I let out a loud breath and got up from the couch, “Want some tea?”

Louis nodded and followed me into the kitchen. I poured some water into the kettle and kept it on the stove heating it, while Louis made himself comfortable on the counter in the kitchen.

This is a really small kitchen. But it is a hotel after all, they don’t usually have kitchen in rooms from the first place.

“I told you to speak to her Harry”

“That will make me look needy and awkward” I rested my hip against the counter opposite Louis, who was dangling his legs back and forward hitting the counter making a noise.

Louis is really noisy if you ask me.

“I just miss Lora” I blurted out against my will. Louis sighed in response, I’m sure he’s sick of the many times I’ve mentioned her.

“I know Harry, I do too”

“But it’s differe-“

“Yes, I know, of course it’s different” Louis interrupted me, “But Harry you can’t keep mourning”

“I’m not” I argued, I’m not anymore right? “Look Molly and I can’t be anything okay Louis?” I said finally.

“Why not?”

“Because-“ the kettle whistling interrupted us signaling the tea is ready. I was thankful, and hoped this conversation is fucking over.

“I don’t want to talk about it alright?” I finally said and poured two cups of tea for us to drink and relax from this hectic life we’ve been thrown at.

~