Hold On

Open up

*Natalie's POV*

I had managed to get myself in and out of the shower, wash my hair and get myself clean, but as soon as I had pulled the clean shirt over my head and seen how tired my eyes still looked in the bathroom mirror, I'd collapsed onto the floor, holding my face in my hands, crying, again. Jane was my whole world, I missed her smile, and the way she used to laugh at her own jokes as I sat next to her, shaking my head.

God I needed to get a handle on my emotions, I hadn't left the apartment for three days, at least, I wasn't even really sure what day it was at this point. My phone kept buzzing in the bedroom, and I finally managed to pick myself up off the floor, and stumble over to where my phone was waiting on my bed. It was just another message from my boss, Steven. He seemed concerned about my well being but I still scowled at my phone and tossed it into my nightstand.

"Sebastian I could really use you right about now..." I muttered under my breath, staring around my room, honestly ashamed of myself for depending on him so much for emotional support. Yeah, he'd been pretty great the last few days, and I didn't understand why... He certainly had his own life to live, why did he care so much about me? I bolted out of my bed when my front doorbell buzzed, scrambling over to the call box and pressing the button.

"Who is it?!" My voice was shaky, my hand trembling as I held down on the button, leaning closer to the speaker on the wall.

"It's uh, it's Sebastian... and Chris." My heart pounded in my chest, but I still buzzed them up, quickly running my hands through my hair in an attempt to comb out the knots. The knock on the door a few minutes later was quiet, like they were trying not to scare me...

"Hey..." It was all I managed to get out before Sebastian stepped through the doorway, wrapping his arms around me in an even tighter hug than the one he'd given me in the airport. I waved Chris in, and he winked at me as he stepped inside, closing the door behind himself and setting a couple things down on the chair in my small living room "Sebastian you can let go of me now..." He laughed as he let go of me, still resting his hands on my shoulders. I was staring at the floor, shuffling my feet around, not quite believing that this was actually happening.

"Chris, meet Nat." I was soon wrapped in another tight hug, but Chris picked me up off the ground, causing Sebastian to laugh out loud and I, of course, joined in, desperately trying to hide my excitement over the fact that Captain America himself was in my apartment. It was almost like, Sebastian had sensed that I needed him, needed the comforting feeling that he seemed to emanate.

"Sebastian hasn't shut up about you since he got back..." Chris gently led me over to the couch, sitting down and patting the spot next to him, which I reluctantly took. This all still felt like it wasn't real...

"Hey man, you weren't supposed to tell her that!" Seb sighed, finally walking around the corner, handing me a bowl that was piled high with ice cream "I thought, that we could come keep ya company. Maybe watch a movie..." I shook my head at him as I sat the bowl down on the table in front of my couch, getting up and walking over to my movie shelf. I managed a small smile as I ran my fingers along my movies, trying to pick one, but the anxiety of picking something that we would all like was beginning to overwhelm me, and I noticed my body had started shaking. I felt a hand on my shoulder, my body tensing up but almost immediately relaxing when I realized it was Sebastian "Hey... it's alright. Do you happen to have Pulp Fiction? I love that one!" I nodded at him, motioning to the next section with my still trembling hand. He kept his arm around my shoulder, moving both of us as he grabbed the movie and put it in the player, and still held on to me as he helped me over to the couch.

"Sorry..." I mumbled under my breath, neither of them hearing me. Sebastian was resting his arm behind me while the movie played, his hand occasionally gripping my shoulder. Chris was being pretty quiet until he noticed that I was nodding off, still holding the half empty bowl in my hands, the spoon falling onto the floor.