Hold On

Acceptance

"Sebastian..."

"Hey you gotta trust me Nat, it's just a little bit further." Sebastian was still gently holding my hands over my eyes as he led me somewhere. We'd been walking for at least thirty minutes, the only clues to where we were going were the sounds around me. I mean, New York wasn't exactly quiet... but you get what I mean. We finally stopped, and as soon as his hands moved away I opened my eyes, gasping as I realized where he'd taken me.

"You're shitting me..." I couldn't form a single complete thought, he'd taken me to the Marvel movie set, and he grabbed my hand and led me up to the gate, talking quietly to the guard before the gate opened just enough for us to step through.

"I gathered you were a fan... thought you might like to see it up close you know?" He shrugged, still holding my hand as we slowly walked through the dimly lit area, the guard had handed me a small flashlight after ushering us through and I fidgeted with it in my free hand "Through here... well. It's the set where we filmed the scene from, from Winter Soldier, when they wipe me after I recognized Steve, after Bucky recognized him, I mean." Sebastian kept stumbling over his words, and it was making me smile. I stared in awe at the intricate details of the set, of the bank vault where the chair sat, with all the harnesses that had held him down. I felt a strong wave of emotions washing over me, my hand slightly trembling as Sebastian held it even tighter "If this is too much we can..."

"I'm fine..." I answered a little too quickly, and from the look that crossed over his face, I could tell that he didn't believe me.

"Natalie..." We stopped walking, and I let go of his hand to lean myself against a wall outside. It was starting to get a little chilly and I cursed myself for not bringing a jacket, rubbing my arms with my hands, shivering a little as I stared up at the quickly darkening sky. Sebastian stood on my left side, not saying anything else, just shuffling his feet around on the ground, I think, waiting for me to explain myself. He sighed, pulling off his leather jacket and gently wrapping it around my shoulders, and I held tightly to it for a few seconds before slipping my arms through the sleeves.

"This is so incredible Sebastian, and I know it's supposed to be a distraction from what happened with Jane but... I can't stop thinking about how much she would have loved this..." I quickly went to move my hand up to my face to wipe away the tears that had started falling, but was stopped by Sebastian. He slowly let my hand fall back against my side, wiping the tears away with the end of his sleeve, letting his thumb brush across my cheek. My eyes closed as I reveled in the tiny moment of closeness, storing it away for the future when I might need the happy thought again, but when his hand didn't leave my face, I opened my eyes to find him staring directly at me...

"You shouldn't be embarrassed about feeling sad Nat... I know, everyone always says, the pain gets more bearable over time, and that might not be what you wanna hear right now, but it's true..." I nodded at him, his hand still resting against the side of my face, his fingers occasionally moving, he was so close to me at this point that I could feel the heat from his breath as he continued talking "... I really like you Natalie..." My eyes widened, had I heard him correctly?

"Did you just... Sebastian?" His other hand was now resting on my shoulder, his eyes still trained on me. Our breath looked like smoke as it mingled in the cold nighttime air, slowly rising up as neither of us said anything, the only sounds being the city around us and our steady breathing, until he sighed again, loudly.

"I'm being serious Nat. I care about you, I want to be closer to you..." My chest tightened, that, oh my god, is this actually happening right now feeling. I had to be in some sort of extended dream... don't panic, maybe he wasn't bullshitting me... His hand wasn't touching me anymore, instead he was messing with his hair, fidgeting with the buttons on his shirt...