Military Love

Chapter 21- Confessions

The morning sun streamed into the window from the openings of the curtains. The sheets were twisted around my legs as I felt his arms around me, holding me gently. The memories from last night flooded into my head. I remember everything that had happened and as I did I felt that warm feeling spread inside my body like rapid fire. 

I tried to hold back a smile, as if I would disturb this moment by one small gesture. My body was getting restless as I wanted to giggle with excitement. Just thinking out it made me laugh inside. It was just so perfect, this moment. 

I always thought that this would never happen to me again, this amazing feeling. I never thought that I would ever lie here, or lay with anyone ever again. The relief of the thought that I was able to do this, that I was able to feel this way again; made me realize something.

Never again, will I ever be alone.

Never again, will I ever feel like I don't belong. Because as I lay right here, I feel like a belong in someone else's world besides my own. 

Never again will I cry from past memories. Because right here, right now; I felt as if I could do anything I wanted. 

The passion from last night made a chill go down my spine with pleasure as I thought about each and every move that was made, each little breath that was taken, and each little noise that was heard. I took it all into my memory.

I attempted to move my leg an inch before Jerry felt it and tightened his grasp on me.

"Oh no you don't." He whispered into my hair, "You're all mine."

I giggled as the smile spread wide on my face, "I just wanted to get comfier!"

He stroked his thumb on my cheek as his face got serious, leaning his head down and kissing me on the lips.

The kiss was something new, something exciting, something that I haven't felt for a long time. 

And when I get that small little flutter, deep in my stomach, and that beat of my heart that goes faster and faster; I know this is right. I know this is the right thing to do.

**********

We spent the entire day in bed. Leaving for no reason but to get coffee and put movies into the DVD player, as we lay in nothing but the sheets wrapped around our bare skin. Snuggled in the warmth of his arms, and the comfort of the day. 

This was how it was supposed to be. This is what it was like. 

This is what I wanted.

When it became time for sunset, we were watching "Shooter" staring Mark Whalberg, one of our favorite movies. He turned to me during one part of the movie and just gave me that smile. 

That smile that made my knees weak. 

That smile that made me give in.

That smile that made me smile too.

This time, I was in control though, despite his effort. 

This time was even better.

We made love for over an hour before he couldn't take it anymore. I laid on his chest, satisfied by the time, by the day, by all of this. I looked up, into his eyes and he smiled down at me as the beads of sweat crept down his face.

I whispered out something I will never regret, nor did I regret when I said. I said it because I meant it. I said it because he saved me, saved me from something that had me stuck in this state of mind that I can't quite understand. Nor can I understand this. This matter of possibilities. This feeling that I felt. Something that I never felt before- not even completely with Derek.

I whispered out in the softest voice, "I love you Jerry."

His face just looked at me, as happiness was spread across his face into a smile.

I leaned into his face and looked at his lips. I gave a kiss, but it was turned into something more passionate than I have ever felt before. Something that I will always cherish in my mind. Something that I will always hold onto. Something that I will always love.