All because of You ( Newtmas au )

Chapter 6

Newts P.O.V

Thomas left the room around noon.I hadn't said much, but neither had he, we sat there in a awkward, comfortable silence. A few minutes later I heard the door click meaning he left me alone.I gradually rose from the bed, carefully making my way to the cold door. My shaky fingers curled around the dusty door knob, as i slowly twisted it opening the cold, creaky door.

My eyes glanced around at my surroundings just outside of the room, i awoke in. Before my mind made any choice, my feet started trekking to the bathroom, where Thomas found me. I swiftly reached out and grab the cold, blood-covered blade. Removing the tightly rapped, bloodstained bandage and disregarding it on the cold, dull tiles.

A soft,cold breeze hit my body making me shake. I gripped the blade tighter in my left hand, leaving a bright red mark. The cold blade sliced through my skin, leaving a red line right next to the other, on my pale skin. slowly everything was getting dizzy, when Thomas appeared, i stumbled around to face him.

His reaction to me doing what i was doing, made all the colour rush from my face. Tears started building up in his beautiful chocolate brown eyes. It felt like my heart was breaking, no shattering into thousand of pieces. Black dots started scattering across my vision.

I no longer felt the blade in my hand instead it was on the other side of this cold bathroom. Thomas was saying words but i couldn't hear anything. Tears started gushing like waterfalls from my eyes, as warm red blood covered my clothes and anyone else who touched me.

My vision faded into a soft blur, before it was black and my body collied with something soft.

FLASHBACK

" HE'S USELESS BIANCA, HE'S GOING TO GO NOWHERE IN LIFE" my father yelled to my mother.

I was five, when my depression and anxiety started.  A small defenceless child, hiding behind a door, upstairs, sobbing. 

That was when i first cut myself. Ive wanted to feel relief, happiness, acceptance and loved.

Ive been doing this for 10 years. They put me on every know pill, to stop what they started. They never did anything to fix their relationship. 

Every time i heard yelling. A cold blade was held in my soft hand, warm tears fell down my face and onto my arm. Stinging more every time one fell into a cut.

FLASHBACK OVER

I awoke in the same soft,warm bed as last time i collapsed. Thomas sat on the other side of the room, slouched over his knees. He must of been in deep thought because he wasn't aware that i awoke until he peered in the bed. is eyes where cloudy but i knew what was about to happen.

"So why did you do that?" Thomas asks, gesturing up with his right hand, lifting it from his knees, which he was slouched over.

"Do what?" I lied, also avoiding the question he was giving.

"No, no, no. Don't give me that crap. You know what I'm talking about"

"No. I don't" I persisted.

Thomas sighed, standing up from his swinging bed, walking over to me. He grabbed my left arm, which had bandages laced around it; which Thomas had put there himself.

Looking at me directly in the eye, his pupils analysing my features from the limited light that they had, the dirt across his cheeks, and his forehead which was lightly covered by his bangs. Thomas slowly raised his right arm, still holding on mine with his left, and very lightly gave me   a tiny slap across the cheek.

Making a slight skin to skin contact. But Newt felt nothing from Thomas's slight slap.

"Are you going to answer my question or continue to give me shit about it" Thomas asks, still holding my left arm in is warm hand.

" I have no idea what your talking about" I responded, not wanting to talk about my depressing past.

Thomas other hand till hadn't left my right side of my face. The pad of his thumb started rubbing small circles across my cheek as his finger tips played with the dirty blonde hair. I looked down at my feet,my cheeks turning a soft pink. Thomas's  left hand left my left arm and reached forward carefully placing his thumb on my chin and his index finger underneath, lifting my head up making me look at him.

" Newt, you don't have to tell my anything. Just know that i want to help you" Thomas says in a hushed voice.

I just nodded my head not trusting my voice, based on how close we were at the current moment. Thomas slowly moved his face towards mine. Our faces inches apart. I close my eyes scared of what was going to happen.

There was a pair of soft lips on my cheek, before all the warmth left from my body. I opened my eyes to see Thomas at the door.

" Good night Newt, if you need me. I'm right across from you." 

" Okay, good night Thomas" 

Once he left, I laid  on the soft mattress. Closing my eyes, was instantly a bad idea. Thoughts filled my dreams of my past. I woke up dripping in sweat. Thomas was the first thing on my mind. I quietly made my way to the door, in the dark room. I opened the door, and stumbled forward to where Thomas said he was.

I opened the door, to see Thomas laying there. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep. I crept over to the other side. 

" Newt is that you" Thomas asks, facing me

"Yeah, i couldn't sleep" I answering his question

"Come here then" Thomas opened his arms, making room for me.

I laid down next to him.

" I don't have a disease, come closer" Thomas joked

I moved closer, rapping my arm rapped in bandage around Thomas's waist, placing my head on his chest. I felt Thomas head on mine. As i fell into the best sleep in my life.

 A/N 

Thank You  and  sinkingxsouls for helping me with this chapter.