Before the Factor

The Aftermath

I wake up to the sound beeping machines, and bright lights. But there's something else too.

Pain.

All over my body I feel pain. In my legs, mostly my left, and my upper left torso. My head is pounding and I struggle to open my eyes.

When I finally do get my eyes open, I realize that I'm in a bright hospital room.

Shit.

I thought that maybe the accident was a dream. That I just imagined it and hit myself on a table or something.

My mom sits in a couch in the corner of the room. With tears still on her face. I look to my right and see Harry in a chair by my bed, he's asleep. But he's holding my hand.

I try to move my leg but the searing pain almost makes me black out again.

Stop, I tell myself, this isn't helping anything.

I slowly move each muscle. The pain is there, but it's bearable. I test each limb. Each muscle. Making sure everything is there.

When I move the hand that Harry's holding he snaps his head up and looks at me with tired, bloodshot eyes.

"Angela-" he sobs, tears filling his eyes.

I place my hand on his face. It doesn't hurt as much as my left.

I smile, but I know it is fragile, like I might break any second.

"Shh." I tell him, stroking his face gently, and running my fingers through his hair.

"I should have asked you to stay. I should have asked your mom and-" he begins but he breaks down before he can continue.

I know that calming words can't stop him. So I pull my hand away and pat the space next to me, on my right so the pain can be bearable.

The bed is big enough for the both of us, so we fit easily.

He lays next to me, sobbing into my shoulder and apologizing over and over.

I give up on trying to console him. And I let him cry. And eventually I start crying too.

Because of the pain, because of the situation, and if how messed up things can become in such a short amount of time.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry." He says

I kiss him on the forehead, on the cheek, his lips. Our tears mixing together.

After what feels like an eternity. Harry falls asleep. And I just stare at him until a doctor walks in and sees me awake.

"Hello." He says to me in a calm voice, "My name is James."

I look up and smile. Even though it's fragile it's something. And he smiles back.

He walks to my bed and checks a couple of vials and takes a clipboard from a clip on the wall.

"I'm going to give you another shot of pain medicine. So that you'll be able to move and the pain won't be too great." He says to me, "Then I'll wake your mother and have a nurse find your father to talk about your condition."

"Thanks." Is all I'm able to say.

He smiles at me, "You're very strong, Angela. Most people your age are usually unable to speak or are in too much pain to cooperate with us."

"I guess I'm just different." I say with a shrug, which was a bad idea since it hurt. A lot.

"I'll be back with the medicine." He says as he turns to leave.

The next thirty minutes are filled with nurses poking and moving me, which hurt.

They stuck me with needles and fed me some nasty mushy stuff they supposedly called "food".

Meanwhile my family and Harry's mom is standing outside in the hallway, looking in through a big window in the wall.

I give them a small smile as a nurse helps me sit up to go use the restroom, which also hurts.

The nurse grabs a wheelchair and gently slides me in. And I guess I don't need to explain how she helped me go to the bathroom. But it was awkward. And, of course, it hurt.

Once she lays me back on the bed, everyone is allowed to come in and talk.

The James tells everyone to sit and they do. The tension in the air is thick it is almost choking me.

Harry comes and sits next to me, grabbing my hand. And I am thankful that I have him. At least he is here while my life steers out of control.

"Well the good news is, you're not paralyzed." He says with his eyebrows up. Obviously I'm not paralyzed you idiot.

He turns to my parents and explains ,

"It's a clean break, so it'll heal faster. If it was shattered she would have been in a lot more pain and she would have to get surgery."

He turns back to me, "You'll have to wait a couple of weeks before you're able to move on your own with the help of crutches, until then you'll have to use a wheelchair."

Back to my parents.

"Could I talk to you all outside?" He turns to Harry, "Even you, Mr. Styles."

Harry turns to me and I nod. I'm tired. And the doctor can see that. Everyone files out, Harry is the last to go.

I smile and he smiles back. He turns to leave and closes the door.

I rest my head against the pillow. They closed the curtains, so they won't be able to see.

For the first time I feel completely broken. Shattered, is another word.

I close my eyes and feel the silent tears rolling down my cheeks.

The tears turn into sobs and I lay there, crying and sobbing until there's nothing else left.

I eventually fall asleep. Between all the sobs, and pain, I find peace.