Before the Factor

The Great and Terrible Ten

Bright lights and constant beeping. Like a old dream resurfacing, the hospital equipment comes into view. No pain registers though, nothing but a slight throbbing in my abdomen and my heart beating its usual thrum. Nurses fussing over needles and wires that hook up to me, a woman with a doctors coat speaking to a familiar head of curly hair.
"Morning, sunshine." An blue eyes woman says to me. She's older than the others, wrinkles creasing by her eyes and around her mouth. She holds a plate of what I assume is food but know is jello that tastes like corn beef. Like a canvas, her face is brushes with lines and spots, a breathtaking mixture of age and natural beauty.

"Hi." I say, my voice catching from disuse. All eyes snap in my direction, especially his green ones. Color floods my cheeks and I clear my throat as I attempt to sit up. The canvas woman helps me sit up, fixing my thin hospital gown so nothing that shouldn't be seen isn't.
The next words that leave my lips are probably the most mortifying yet, "Maybe it was just some bad chicken."
Laughs and giggles ring out from everyone in the room, the doctor covers her mouth to stifle a laugh as well. I smile shyly and look to see if Harry reacted in any way.
His eyes are solid, rock-hard emerald. Unlike the warm waves of green and gold that welcome me with every word and phrase and touch. His lips haven't moved an inch from their grim line. Slowly, deliberately, he takes long strides to me, taking my hand and kissing it. "There's something wrong." I whisper to him, gently pulling my hand away. His smile is sad, fragile, in his attempt to comfort me.

"The doctor will explain everything." He says, his voice catching when he says doctor. He gestures for the woman in the coat to walk over. Her hair, a silky black thing in a ponytail, swings back and forth as her stride brings her closer to my bed. Only now do I realize she's Asian, almond eyes smiling at me and teeth so white they could blind anyone.

"Hello, Amelia. It's nice to meet you, I'm doctor Elisa." Her hand reaches for mine and shakes it gently, as if the slightest movement could disrupt my comfort.

"Hi, doctor." I say quietly, still unsure. Harry doesn't move an inch away from me, eyes still solid marble. "I assume that the news is worse than I thought." My voice cracks, my facade of strength crumbling slowly.

Her smile disappears, replaced by a grim line and she waves off all the nurses. Canvas Woman pats my arm reassuringly, then heads to close the door after all the others have gone. Doctor Elisa is cautious as she circles my bed, putting things in their right places. "Miss Amelia, your condition was something that is rarely found. Several see symptoms sooner than this, but your body managed to compress and withstand the amount of pressure of this particular...sickness." She pauses, looking at Harry for reassurance, he nods slightly. My heart beats faster, the throbbing in my abdomen more intense. They talk around me like a thing rather than a person. My eyes wander to Harry's and he turns away, waiting for the doctor to continue. Look at me! I want to scream. At least give me the grace to look my way and tell me! Cowards! The lot of you!
"Tests have been run on your blood and research into your family tree have found something." She continues to say while looking into my eyes, "Your entire family has carried the gene for ovarian cancer."
And there it was. The word that decided the fate of a million men and women. The word every human fears will surface and destroy the life they knew. It hits me like a punch in the chest, a terrible, terrible feeling of your stomach dropping to the floor and bouncing right back up to hit you in the heart. "Now, this cancer is actually not as bad as, well, several others." She grabs the rails of the hospital bed, knuckles turning white. "I've actually had this cancer and recovered completely. But the chance to have children of your own is, needless to say, is very slim. But adoption has proved to be amazing..." She drones on and on about treatment and how bad other people have it. It's like someone stuffed cotton balls in my ears and someone is screaming at me to take them out. My heart beats at my rib cage so hard I feel as if it could break free and run away.