Before the Factor

Birds and the Bees

                                                                                            Harry

She had this look while we were driving home. That scary thinking face I always feared and yet somehow loved. I sped through the rainy London streets, the windshield wipers on the highest setting. It was cold, like always, and I couldn't help but think the large coat I gave her wasn't enough to keep her warm.

"Alex is coming over to see me tomorrow while you're at the interview and recording." Mia says, her voice low.

Something warm creeps into my chest. Alexander, the one that was there when Mia got mobbed. He's handsome, too handsome. He has feelings for her, I remember when we were still in school so many years ago that he and Mia had a thing. Innocent of course, but a thing nonetheless. "Oh?" I say, trying to sound nonchalant.

We stop at a red light, silent for a moment.

"He's my friend, Harry." She says

"I know." I say it too quickly. I curse myself and tighten my hands on the wheel.

"So why do you sound so angry?" She asks, huffing.

I look at her, sitting there in my black coat. She looks like a child in all the fabric, and angel in a sea of black. Why was I angry? Because I have a job and responsibilities and things to take care of? That's preposterous. How should I be expected to keep moving when my girlfriend is in the hospital receiving chemo? Or staying in our house with a guy she was kind of into? "I'm not angry." I say as I press the gas and take a right, the house coming into view.

She sighs, crosses her arms. "So, you can have supermodels as friends but I find my old friend and invite him over for some Netflix and it's not okay?" She says quickly.

"That's not what I said." I said sharply, pulling into the driveway.

"But it's what you meant." She grabs her backpack and opens the car door angrily.

"Mia-" Was all I could get out before she slammed the door and stomped to the house. She stopped, turned around and lifted her chin at me. She still looked like a child. A pouting child that didn't get what she wanted. I shook my head, running a hand through my hair and met her at the doorway.

"I don't have my keys." She muttered, still pouting.

"I know." I remember her leaving them on the kitchen counter when we left early this morning.

"He's coming tomorrow." She says, pushing past me into the house and walking quickly up the stairs.

I sigh, feeling my resolve crumble. There was nothing to sway her, I knew that. She wasn't going to change her mind, I learned that a long time ago.
"I know." I sigh into the cold air.

                                                                                           ***

 

                                                                                     Amelia

I felt like shit after throwing my mini tantrum. Harry had every right to be jealous and protective, that's just him being a good guy and a wonderful boyfriend. But, was I going to go down and apologize? No.

Instead I got my Studio Beats and played Kanye West until my brain felt like mush. Alex was one of the best guys I'd met while I lived here. He wasn't condescending, proud, or thought he was better than me. He didn't feel that his masculinity was threatened just because I was successful. It was kind of hard to find a person like that.
Laying on the bed without pants on I realized just how much weight I lost. Weird right? You know what got me? The bed. How it sagged under my weight. I remember just how self-conscious I was about how much I weighed when I started dating Harry again. His entourage constantly including gorgeous models that were size zeros. I felt my stomach, my ribs poking out easily.  My thighs didn't touch anymore. Something wasn't right. I felt my face, my cheekbones sticking out more than I remember. Running to the bathroom, I stepped on the scale, my jaw dropping. I was one hundred pounds flat. Who's one hundred pounds and turning twenty soon? I was dumbfounded. Conflicted, was this good? Was this bad? How did I not realize this? Why did no one warn me? Then I realized I did have someone, and he was sitting downstairs watching his stupid tv show. I got mad, ripping off my headphones and marching down the stairs.