Unremitting Love

Chapter 18

The pic on the side is of Grayson

Daniel

Aubrey is fast asleep. It's been twenty minutes or so now, and the doctors already came in to check on her and Grayson again.

It's been about ten minutes since they came in last.

They woke her up.

They come back in now, waking her again.

I can tell she's annoyed.

They check her heart, and Grayson's.

The nurse starts to leave.

"Wait." Aubrey mumbles.

She turns around.

"How often are you going to come in here and wake me up?"

I sigh quietly, rubbing her shoulder.

"I promise it'll get less frequent." She smiles.

She leaves.

Aubrey lays there for a second.

"I wanna go home." She whispers.

"I know." I sigh.

Grayson starts to stir in my arms. She rubs her eyes, shifting, holding her arms out.

I carefully hand him to her. She shifts him.

Exposing her breast, she helps him latch on.

He stops crying.

She sighs, squinting across the room.

"I forgot my glasses."

"What are you trying to see?" I ask.

"If there's a lock on the door."

"There's not." I say. "And even if there was, you can't use it."

"Well, what if I wanted to have sex?" she asks.

"Um, we can't have sex four a month." I say. "Probably more."

"What?" she asks. "What kind of shit is that?"

She seems angry.

She's not wanted anything to do with sex for the last four months or so.

We had sex one time the entire pregnancy.

Before that, we were both depressed so really, we haven't had sex since October except for one time.

It feels like I've never even has sex before, but obviously I have.

She lets Grayson eat, and then she burps him until he spits up.

He starts to fuss.

"He probably needs his diaper changed." She grumbles.

Aubrey

I didn't want sex when I was pregnant, but now that I'm not, I'm angry I won't be able to have it.

But I look down at this bundle of life crying in my arms.

This bundle of life that Daniel and I made with our love, and that's enough to hold me over.

"Can I have the diaper bag?" I ask.

Daniel grabs it, handing it to me.

I lay Grayson down in front of me, carefully unwrapping him. He peed.

I change his diaper quickly.

He's awake, he's not crying. His eyes are wide open, and he's just staring at me.