Unremitting Love

Chapter 14

I'm depressed.

Sky and Roxy are depressed.

Finn stepped up.

Josh didn't.

And it's November 3rd.

And we've been trying since late July, and I'm still not pregnant.

We found a house. We've moved in.

We're ready for the baby.

But there's no baby.

I was worried we weren't having sex right.

But he's coming inside of me.

We're doing it right.

Daniel is starting to distance himself from me.

He stopped asking if I'm feeling pregnant.

Because I'm not.

I'm sitting on the front steps with a mug of hot chocolate. It's forty degrees.

Daniel is in the house, alone.

I take a deep breath, my eyes filling with tears.

They roll down my cheeks.

The sun is going down.

The sky is the blue color, with the pink in it.

The sun is gone, but the sky is still lit.

A car pulls into the driveway, and a few moments later, Mrs. Schmitt gets out.

Her and I aren't really that close, and I don't really cry in front of her.

She walks across the grass.

"Hey." She hesitates. "Are you alright. You're crying?"

I smile, shrugging.

"I've had better days."

She frowns.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" she asks.

I wipe my eyes.

"I don't know." I whisper, looking down at my mug of hot chocolate.

She sits down next to me on the steps.

"Well, try." She says gently.

"You can't tell anybody." I whisper. "Nobody knows except for Daniel."

"I won't." she says.

I take a deep breath.

"Um...Daniel and I moved because-" I wipe my tears. "We're trying to have a baby." I whisper. "And we've been trying since July, and it's not working, and it's just depressing. He used to be so excited and he'd come home from work and get all excited and ask me if I feel pregnant, and as I kept saying no...he just started distancing himself from me...spending more time at work...now I'm sitting out here crying and he's inside..." I shake my head. "I'm scared something wrong. I can't give him a family. I tried calling the doctor, and they said that I need to try for a whole year before they check anything."

She takes a deep breath, rubbing her hands together, she puts her arm around my shoulders.

"Daniel is probably just taking time to gather his thoughts. He's smart. Trust me Aubrey, you're probably not infertile. Daniel probably isn't either. You could be pregnant right now and not even know it."

I sigh.

"I know." I whisper. "Anyways, what brings you here?"

She laughs.