No Ordinary Fan Fiction...

Chapter 4

After potions, Joey, Darren and Bonnie made their way up the moving staircases to their Defense Against The Dark Arts classroom. A group of Slytherins were already waiting outside. Darren noticed that Sami was amongst them.

"Hey pube head!" one of them called out at Darren - he recognised her as Lauren Lopez.

Darren raised an eyebrow at her and then ran his fingers through his curls sexily, making it melodramatic and completely over the top, swishing his hair back and forth like a model. Joey snorted with laughter at Lauren's face and some Gryffindor girls giggled but Darren just winked at them. He had learned not to let Lauren get to him, but to play up to her insults and get laughs out of it. This usually infuriated Lauren further.

"Why don't you try and insult someone who gives a rats furry arse, aye Lauren?" Bonnie said with narrowed eyes. Lauren's face turned pink.

"Yeah? Fine. Bonnie Gruesen, you have the most disgusting-"

"What's going off here?" The Doctor exclaimed, standing in the doorway. Everyone was quiet, expecting him to be angry at the disruption they were causing. But he still had a twinkle in his eye and a grin on his face. His trousers were a little too short for his legs, showing his bright purple socks.  "Nevermind, what are you all stood their like lemons for? Come in! Chop chop," he waved his arms manically for them to enter the classroom.

The students filled in and took their seats - Darren sat next to Joey as usual, and Bonnie was left next to Justin (not something she was exactly thrilled about).

The Doctor ran giddily up to the blackboard at the front of the class and scrawled messily in chalk, Doctor, for everyone to see. He turned around and flashed a brilliant smile at his new class, which looked confused if anything.

A hand raised in the air.

"Ah, yes! Hellooo!!" The Doctor said pointing dramatically at Bonnie. "Your name?"

"Bonnie Gruesen sir, i was just wondering what your name was?" she asked uncertainly. The Doctor eyed her and then pointed at the blackboard.

"Im The Doctor!" He said, thrilled that he was asked a question he could answer. He adjusted his bow tie happily.

There was a pause before Bonnie replied.

"Um.. Doctor who?"

The Doctor looked at her with mad eyes.

He then erupted into uncontrollable laughter, banging his fist on the table and clapping like a seal. Darren and Joey looked at one another.

He suddenly stopped laughing as abrubtly as he has started - his face now serious and professional, his hands rested on his desk.

"Who here knows what a Dalek is?" he asked his bewildered class. Everyone was silent. "No one?"

The Doctor suddenly became very rigid, his arms glued to his sides and he moved very slowly forwards while saying "Exterminate, exterminate," in a robotic voice. He stopped and looked at his class expectantly.

Darren heard a cricket chirping outside through the open window.

"Okay, how about... the Weeping Angels? Know what those are?" A girl in the first row blinked up at him. "Do they teach you kids anything?!" He looked almost angry.

Then his face softened. "No matter," he said, his cheeky grin making a reappearance. He suddenly took off, running around the classroom like a madman, his students following him with their eyes. The way he ran was quite funny, he kept his arms stuck out like he was holding a purse. He ran over to the window and pulled the blinds. He then ran around and extinquished the lights until the room was nearly pitch black.

"Professor..." came a female voice from the darkness.

"Doctor." He corrected her.

"Right, don't you have a wand that you could have used to do all that?" Bonnie asked, clearly not impressed with this quirky new teacher.

"A wand? No. Well, i have a screwdriver," he said cheerfully, and he continued to scurry around the room. Bangs and crashes and "whoopsie daisy"'s could be heard until finally, the class was watching a documentary, projected onto a canvas screen, about Daleks.

They were funny looking things made from metal that flew though the sky and 'exterminated' humans. They didn't look remotely magical but most of the class wasn't paying attention anyway - they watched their new teacher for the remaining half an hour as The Doctor pointed his screwdriver at random objects and made them explode (followed by cries of "Oh bloody hell!") or inspected the class' textbooks and said things to himself like,

"What the hell is a Hufflepuff?"