The Wallflower And The Jock {on hold}

8. Black Hole

8.  Black Hole

 *Six Months Before

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

I heard the heart monitor make it’s completely high beep, scared to death that every beep would be the last as I looked at my grandfather on the hospital bed that I was leaning my head against.

Please wake up.

The month passed by in a blur of hospital visits and school.  To be completely honest, I felt like a zombie when I walked around school.  I watched everyone around me go on with their lives, because nothing was wrong with their lives.  My friends were constantly worried about me, and I rarely spoke to them.  I couldn’t be alright, not when my grandfather hadn’t woken up yet.

Please wake up.

I sighed as I tore my eyes away from the steady rise and fall of my grandfather’s body.  I took in the rest of the surroundings around me; white walls, white door, the marble tiles that seemed to gleam as I stared at them.

Or maybe it was just my tears.

“Hey, grandpa.” I finally spoke. The doctors had told my family that although he was in a coma, he could still hear us, and that it would be a good idea to try to talk to him.

I sighed and gave him a sad smile, not that he could see it, anyway.

“Brent and I still aren’t speaking.” I started.  This was actually really awkward, but I carried on. “To be honest, I don’t know if I can ever forgive him or not.  What he did, it was just…” I trailed off, mostly because my throat had gone dry, and I didn’t know what to say next.

Usually, whenever Brent and I had a fight–which was rarely, by the way–my mom or Aunt Courtney would always try to get us to make up. But because they were so busy with my grandfather’s situation and all, they didn’t even notice that we weren’t speaking.

“You could always read him like a book, you know.  You could always see what was going on in his mind.”  I was tracing patterns on his bed sheet now; the steady beeping of the heart monitor was the only sound that reminded me that I was still in the hospital.  “I always wished that I could do that.”

“Do you think that we’ll ever go back to the way we were before, grandpa?”  I asked, tears now staining my eyes.  I rarely cried, not in sad movies, and not in sad books. Brent often called me ‘Stoic Zoe’.

My heart wrenched just thinking about him.

The room was silent for awhile, and I remembered for the umpteenth time that he couldn’t answer me.

I sighed and I slowly stood up.  I kissed him on the cheek, looked over my shoulder to look at him one last time and left the room.  Mom was sitting on the bench that was directly outside the room.  She looked at me hopefully, and I just shook my head and ran to the elevator.

***

“You know you can talk to me, you know.”

I looked up from my book at my petite friend’s face, her round, brown eyes filled with worry. Alicia was with me in the library, because Selena and Layla both had other classes.  We were sitting by the window, so her raven black hair glistened against the sunlight.

“I’m fine.” I shrugged. “I was just reading.”

She cocked one eyebrow up at me. “Oh really? Is that why you haven’t turned the page in the last seven minutes?”