Pulse (On Hold)

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

I turn my face away from them so they can’t see the tears that are pricking my eyes. I can feel my heart throbbing in my chest, overwhelmed with the guilt that was slowly but surly eating away at me. I can feel my bottom lip trembling, so I take it between my teeth to stop the sob from ripping through my lips. I kissed my ex boyfriend’s brother and I feel absolutely horrible about it.

There was just something so powerful that erupted from within me when Michael had kissed me. His raw need for me ignited an impossible fire and made the skin where we touched burn like wild flames. It was magical, but completely wrong. Jared is the one I love. Jared is the one I have a history with. Michael’s sweet and more than unusually attractive, but Jared is mine and I am his.

I can sense something stirring in front of me, so I tear my attention away from my personal crisis and feel my body tense as Jared glares accusingly at Michael. His sky blue eyes are smouldering with anger, like cerulean smoke, and his whole body is taut with the fury he’s holding back. My eyes flicker onto Michael beside me on the couch and notice that he’s on edge too. He’s staring down his brother, no sign of remorse given away by his indignant expression.

I look back to Jared, an apology hanging on my lips, but it is a gasp that escapes me instead as Jared suddenly launches forward. Michael doesn’t even have time to flinch away as Jared delivers a violent punch to his face. I instantly recoil into the cushions. I’m so close that I can see the tendons in Jared’s neck pulsing and how tortured with betrayal his eyes are.

“Stop!” I screech, as Jared’s knuckles connect with Michaels nose again, splattering blood across his face. The copper smell of the crimson liquid hits my nostrils and I resist the urge to hurl. “Please, Jared. You’re not thinking clearly.” Why isn’t Michael fighting back? Why is he just sitting here on the couch, coping his brother’s rage? “Stop Jared!”

Jared’s shoulders tense and then he turns his head, glowering at me. “Why the hell would you let him kiss you?” Jared demands through his teeth, his voice dangerous. I sink even further into the couch as the man I thought I knew changes before me. Those beautiful eyes of his, the ones that look as if he’s captured the sky within them, shift to midnight black.

I point my finger at him as he proceeds towards me, “Stay back!” I scream. Jared’s resolve wavers slightly, confusion reflected on his features until they contort with lividness again. He has never looked at me like this before. His blond eyebrows are twisted into a knot, his body shaking and his face deformed into a furious scowl. I realise that I have really hurt him, maybe even tarnished our friendship beyond repair.

But that’s not what’s haunting me right now. His eyes are so dark it feels like I’m staring into a bottomless pit, no humanity left to draw comfort from. He looks so beyond control, so beyond help, I cannot recognise him. Where has my Jared gone?

“You’re- You’re,” I stutter.

“I’m what?” Jared asks mockingly, tilting his head to the side as if to humour me.

“Not human,” I manage to choke out despite the huge lump in my throat. It feels strangely swollen, almost like my thrumming heart is about to leap out of my mouth. It sure feels like that, I’m so scared I can hear the pulse thumping against my temples.

Jared smirks sadistically, the expression looking so unfamiliar on his handsome face I feel my stomach churn with uneasiness. His face is closing in on me gradually, the hostility in his shady eyes screaming out at me. It feels like I’m standing on the top of the building again, with Logan stalking towards me, body poised to strike.

“Wrong,” he says bluntly, his voice threatening.

“You’re eyes,” I persist.

Jared pauses in his stride, considering. He seems torn somehow, his face suddenly unsure of his purpose. He closes his eyes and I breath out a sigh of relief. Even though his face is distorted with anger, he looks like my Jared now without his empty black eyes. I yearn for his bitterness to subside and for the darkness to melt away from his blue eyes. But when he opens them again, I’m left speechless and completely dumbfounded by how blank they look.