too much to live with~Arwen

Chapter 13

“You don’t have to go anywhere alone from now; I’ll arrange a driver for you.”

“I am a mature adult dad!” Arwen’s voice rang at a pitch higher than the usual.”I do not need a caretaker!” Arwen walked towards her room and slammed the door once she was inside.

Arwen stopped in front of her mirror. She saw the incurred wrath in her eyes. All the patience built within Arwen, in the twenty years of her life, stopped her from smashing the mirror with her phone. She closed her eyes, things are at the worst because they are about to get better, she kept telling herself. She sighed and opened her eyes. Beaten by her own life, she sat on the floor in front of her mirror. What if things weren’t at their worst? This was the question which made Arwen shiver in the summer nights. She felt like a lost puppy. Where was her life heading, she had no idea. She didn’t even clearly know the reason behind her troubled mood. Zeisha’s cheeriness, even after she was hurt because of Arwen? Ryan’s care, which though he tried not to show, was going over the tops? Or Kevin’s authority, who was sincerely concerned but, which was not required? Or the examinations, which were still a month away, but seemed to be approaching, fast, while Arwen remained helpless?

Or was it something else entirely?

Ryan had not opposed her hypothesis when she had told him about the sedan car and its deliberate attempts. But he had not agreed with Arwen either. He kept an eye on her since then, Arwen had noticed that. Arwen felt foolish when she thought of the invented attack in her head. It could all be a coincidence for all she knew. The cars in both the incidents; in fact, in all the three incidents, if the day Mrs. Andearson died was to be counted to; were the same- there was no proof of that. But Arwen still felt scared while she drove home from college. She felt scared in doing everything now. She never hung out too much, never went for drives, avoided night outs and tried to stay home as much as she could. Ryan never forced Arwen and Zeisha was still bed ridden to notice the changes. Ryan spent his maximum time with Arwen. He was the only one who tolerated her violent mood. But he never left. Arwen didn’t want him to leave either, but she was sick to see the fear in his eyes responsible for all the care. Ryan never explained his presence and endured her, as usual.

She never told Zeisha and Kevin about her assumption. Even without her telling, their behavior seemed exaggerated to her. Zeisha’s vivaciousness told Arwen that she didn’t want Arwen to blame herself for everything that happened to her.

“That was nothing…I have seen stupid freaks do even more damage to some cars.” Zeisha had said when Arwen had visited her at home.

Arwen hadn’t replied. She wasn’t sure if it was any stupid freak responsible for her condition.

“You take care on the road. Don’t travel in desolate areas. And guess what! Shawn’s sending me flowers every day.” Zeisha beamed. “I’m so loving it!”

Arwen had smiled and gossiped with her. But like always, it didn’t help Arwen. Her frame of mind was still transparent for Zeisha. So Zeisha tried to sound excited every time Arwen showed up, in the hopes of making her mood better. But, with tension in her mind, the liveliness pinched Arwen even more.

Kevin’s case was something else entirely. He had visited her as soon as she told him about her car. Once he came into the picture, Ryan had disappeared. Kevin was appalled to know about the accident. Along with Mr. Hellings, he had gone to the cops again. More papers and more visits occurred, but the sedan never came. And Arwen got tired of Kevin’s amplified concern. Could she expect her to be living freely if she even gave a hint of what she thought about the ‘accidents’? Kevin would surely ask her to stay locked away in the house to stay safe. Excess of everything from all the sides kept pushing her down till she busted away in front of Kevin today. But it was all inside her that exploded. She was tensed not because everybody was worrying about her. She was losing it because none of them actually knew what Arwen was expecting. She felt sorry for her behavior. All of them were thinking better for Arwen. It’s not their fault if they didn’t know what Arwen was going through.