My addiction is becoming stronger. Harder to resist. When I first started I thought I could control myself. I thought that I could control when I wanted to do it and how many I did. I was completely wrong. I can't control myself. I can't. It's as simple as that. I thought it would be easier. But it's not. I thought I could stop when I wanted but I can't. I hate my life. Yah. Yah. I know. My life is "great." I don't have it bad. I have food. I have a roof over my head. I have parents. So automatically my life is great. Right? No. Wrong. My parents have no clue what goes on at school. I try to hide it when my day it bad. My parents never see through my act. Never. used to tell my grandparents what would happen at school. I stopped a couple months ago. Everyday I tell them that my day was either "okay", "good", or "great". They believe me. It just dawned on me that I'm pushing everyone away. Well I knew I was but at school I used to hang around with different groups. And now I've pushed them away. It's okay because they never noticed. No one really notices me. Well at school anyways. And at home. Sometimes I wish my parents would ask me how my day was. The last time they asked me that was in 5th grade I believe. Three years ago. Three.
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Diary of a Cutter
عشوائيWarning: May be triggering. This is my story. My diary. I will update as often as I can.
