SHE

Connections

    SHE was a voracious reader of just about every topic under the sun. In the summer between 7th and 8th grade, SHE placed second in a scholastic competition out of the whole class by reading 125 books. It was around that time that in school SHE started to learn more about the Holocaust. When visiting Israel for the first time in 1995, SHE heard from her great aunts about how they survived the genocide of her people back in the USSR. On the reading list was The Diary of Anne Frank and when SHE read it, SHE had to see the movie that corresponded with it. Something drew her to Anne. SHE didn't understand it right away.

    It wasn't the fact that both were Jews or that her family had members that were murdered like Anne and her family was. Later on in life, SHE sat down with her grandfather and asked him just how many relatives were lost on her maternal side and he gave her the staggering number of 67. 67 people lost forever without a grave to go to or pay respects. Her grandfather told her that one of the family members was shot in the head by the SS in the ghetto where he and his family were living because he tried to steal a loaf of bread to feed them.

    When SHE was in middle school, many of her classmates and even teachers commented how SHE looked a lot like Anne. And in her heart and soul SHE knew there was a deeper connection each time SHE looked at Anne. It wasn't only with her that SHE felt a bizarre twinge of familiarity but to Anastasia Romanov as well. Anastasia was the youngest daughter of the last Czar of Russia. These two connections weren't on a physical plain but on a metaphysical one.

    When looking at the photos of both young girls, it was like looking into a mirror or like it was somewhere SHE had to be. Each time SHE would glimpse at a picture of one of them, electricity would course through her system as if SHE had just gotten zapped by the light socket. What could it all mean? SHE didn't have the knowledge or even idea of where to look. Things weren't as open with the paranormal as they are now. There weren't shows on the topic, the internet wasn't a hot commodity for each household yet, and books were virtually unknown.

    The one thing SHE did have going for her was meditation. SHE had learned about it through some program SHE had watched and SHE tried it out. Lo and behold, not only was SHE able to gain access to the spiritual world but SHE found out about past lives. Her sessions with meditation increased as SHE entered high school and more information became available on the topic to research. As SHE started to put the puzzle pieces together of her past lives, SHE realized that even if SHE wasn't connected directly to Anastasia and Anne, SHE definitely was in their vicinity.

    A movie that really put things into prospective about how the world turns and shouldn't turn was Schindler's List. The Holocaust movie was a kick in the gut for any Jew in the world but it was also a lesson in why never again really was never again. But it showed perseverance of a people determined not to let horror and extermination stop them from living once hell was over.

    Some people thought that SHE had the connections to both girls because SHE was their age when SHE learned about them but they died before they could fulfill their purposes. But no, SHE understood through many mediation sessions and documentaries that SHE saw over the years; that SHE was haunted in a sense by the past. SHE started to learn more and more about the fact that death really wasn't the end and through her intuition; that there was more in the universe then just one life.

    Ironically, SHE knew all of this at a very young age but SHE had no one to speak with. So SHE kept it to herself until the outside world started to catch up. SHE read everything SHE could, meditated for many years, and learned a lot about her own spirituality as well as who SHE was in the scheme of things per life time. SHE also knew from a very early time period that SHE was on her last life. How SHE knew this? No one knows. SHE still doesn't know.

    But that could only mean one thing; in this lifetime SHE fulfills her purpose. And it's not that large or crazy significant. SHE has to happily get married and have children. Every other life SHE has ever had, SHE always died before those were possible; either one or both. But now SHE knows this is it. SHE doesn't want to come back again; for all intense and purposes, SHE's done and SHE's very happy. SHE can't wait to get her wings. Her shoulder blades feel naked without them. How bizarre is that to an outsider? When a human says that they feel naked with their wings which they will receive upon transitioning? But that's how it was and is.

    SHE wrote a poem about these connections many years ago called "Haunted" because SHE truly felt it in every fiber of her being:

Haunted

Living a life

Knowing this isn't

My first existence

On this earth

Feeling, knowing

Understanding

Past lives

Had

Connections

To a different time

Different people

When looking at

A photograph of two

Young girls of long ago

Haunted

By that image

For I feel

That I am looking

At myself

In a dream

Their names

Totally different

From mine

Anastasia

Anne

Both dead before

Their time

Murdered

Even now

As an adult

Haunted

By their faces

Part of me

Lived in them

And a part of them

Lives on in me

***Pinsky, Olga. "Haunted". Out of the Abyss. August 7, 2008. ©All Rights Reserved.***