Distorted (Complete)

20. Christmas

'Tonio...'

'Tonio... Wake up...' that voice.

'I want you to see this...' I opened my eyes to firey red ones inches away from mines. He's panting, I watched as saliva fell from his mouth onto my face. This isn't real. I'm dreaming. I stared the devil in the face. I'm... Dreaming.

My eyes flutterrd open to Christmas lights, A Tree, stockings and the smell of cookies. I could here Ginger helping Juan with his words for the month while singing Christmas Carols, why is she always here? No the question is, why am I always not here? I was laying on the couch shirtless gauze wrapped around my upper chest and bloody ones in the mini garbage on the floor. Pills and a cup of water sat on the coffee table, I sat up on the leather couch and grabbed the pills swallowing all four one at a time with a sip of water. I realised that I've done nothing, I didn't decorate the house nor buy Juan a gift for Christmas, it was all Ginger from the looks of it, I'm honestly the worst big brother. I promised him Christmas though I did none of this. The least I can do is buy him a present even though there's about twenty under the fake green tree. I looked down at my feet that were placed on the warm floor to see my boots next to them along with a note, I picked it up.

'Will be there at 7 if youre feeling well, take your pain meds. Please take them. -Red.'

I looked up at the DVR that said it was six o'clock, I started to slip on my boots forgetting my socks.

"Tonio... Where are you going? You need to rest. I don't think I could handle it if you had another episode." I heard Gingers concerned voice from the dining room.

"I have to go to the store..." I yawned.

"Why? Let me take yo-"

"I'll walk-"

"Its really cold out Tonio plus your still bleeding..." I wasn't going to get anywhere if she kept going.

"Fine, you two have to stay in the car though." I let out a deep sigh as I stood and started walking toward my room. Before I could reach the hallway Juan ran past me his now short hair stayed still as he ran, I turned the corner to see his small frame standing right in front of my door looking down at his bare feet. When I was close enough his arms we're around my legs and he started to sob, I reached down and started rubbing his back in soothing circles.

"I'm th'orry..." he cried aloud looking up at me with tears streaming down his face. I could tell that he'd lost another tooth when he had opened his mouth. I picked him up bring him up to my level being sure to use the opposite side of my injury.

"I'm okay." I smiled at the boy using my thumb to wipe his tears away. I looked at his hair which laid flat on head. I guess this can work, I can see his face now and it looks like it'll take a while to grow back. My free hand held his head as he started sobbing harder." It's okay, I'm here... I'm fine." my words brought him to an occasional sniffle.

He yawned like a baby mouse and rubbed his eyes. Once he was fully calm I sat him down then rubbed his head.

"Go put some pants on and your shoes I'll get your coat." I sent him off towards his room. I watched him walk away in his oversized red shirt and blue underwear as he rubbed his eye.

I wasn't mad at him, I couldn't be. I loved him too much for that, he's all I've got to come home to and he and Zach are the only people I can hold on to.

                             ****
By the time we made it back Zach was on the porch pacing in his grey wool coat and black skully. He had something dangling from his hand
I was surprised I could even see the from the car even as the bright light Burned my eyes. I looked at Ginger.