Unfinished business

Chapter 21

Josh's POV

I had just gotten home, to find my best mate in tears.

It was the first time that I had seen him cry since the funeral, so it came as shock.

Jason later told me how he had been keeping all his emotions to himself and that he couldn't express them because he felt like they were frozen.

I didn't know that he had taken Payton's death so hard but I understood.

Everyone was handling Payton's death differently, that was why we all needed to stick together and help each other through it.

I hadn't heard from Emily or Nathan for a while so I suggested that me and Jason go to visit them, he agreed before going into the bathroom probably to clean himself up.

At times like this, I was grateful to live in the same building as everyone.

We left about ten minutes later, I knocked on Nathan's door first and when the door opened it revealed Emily.

'Hey em' we both said in unison, 'hey guys, come on in, Nate in the living room' she said letting us in to mate's apartment.

'Hey guys!' Nathan called out excitedly, just like he always did.

A part of me was surprised, last time I had seen him he was crying and running out the door.

Now he was watching a football game, chips next to him with a can of soda.

'Hey mate, how you been?' 'Yeah good better then I was before anyway' he replied taking his eyes off of the game to look at us.

Jason took a spot next to Nathan, while I took a spot on the two seater where I was soon joined by Emily.

I looked at Emily, she didn't have any tear streaks down her face, her make up still looked good, she just didn't have her usual smile though.

She was smiling but it was a fake smile anyone who knew her, knew that.

I thought that Emily would take it the second hardest, Kieran first off course but she seemed to be taking it better then the rest of us.

I knew it was an act, I have known Emily to long to know that she wouldn't be crushed about losing her best friend.

I needed to talk to her but I don't know what I would say, I was never really good at this type of thing that was why Payton would always go to Liam when she needed advice or to talk about something.

But still I needed to try.

'So Emily how have you been?' I asked turning the attention onto her.

'Ive been good thank for asking Josh, how bout you?' She replied back with another fake smile.

'Yeah been alright. Been better though you know with Payton and all' I replied back.

Nathan and Jason who had been talking to each other about the game that was going on fell silent at Payton's name and looked over at us.

Emily kept smiling that fake smile 'I know what you mean' she said back in an understanding voice which I didn't understand.

Why would you be smiling when talking about the death of your best friend?

Emily's POV

I knew that Josh was onto me, he could always sense these type of things.

Like when someone was putting on an act, lying or faking and right now I was doing all three.

It was a lie, the smiles, the happy attitude and cheery voice but I didn't want others to worry about me when they should be worrying about themselves.

Ok maybe that is bad advice because I'm worrying about everyone else more then I am myself but it was just the way that I was.

I was always the worrier when I was younger and still am.

I would always rethink my actions thinking about the other would feel, I would put other people happiness and needs in front of my own.

Payton always used to tell me to worry about myself first, I never listened to her.

Maybe I should have.

A part of me wanted others to worry about me but the other part told me to ignore the feeling.

Of course the other part of me prevailed.

The other boys were looking at me worriedly now, along with the stares I was getting from the boy next to me.

'Guys I'm fine really. Don't worry about me' 'thats the thing. We are worried about you em. You lost your best friend you can't tell me that your ok Josh said trying to catch me eyes, but I avoided his gaze knowing that if I looked at him, he would be able to read me like a book.

"Don't lie to them em" a voice said in my head.

For a second it reminded me of the sound of Payton's voice, but that impossible right?