Kanan And Ezra One Shots (ON HOLD)

Breaking the habit

Memories. Memories consuming his mind. Breaking though this currently paper thin barriers and making his breath hitch.

" If we don't fight.. who will? " A ghostly voice whispered in his ear, resembling his father's.

" Shut up! Shut up! " He muttered, burrying his face in his pillow, trying to block out the voices.

Ezra's mind was being swarmed with memories, he didnt need this, he was hurting so much more than before.

He quickly got up and locked the door before Zeb could barge in and see him like this.

He laid on his bunk, drained from all energy. He wished he could cry, to let it out, but he couldn't.

Tears pricked his eyes and as much as Ezra tried to make them fall, they stubbornly refused to do so.

Ezra sighed, and sat up. He glanced at his backpack, sitting on the edge of the bed.

He looked in one of the secret side pockets and found his 'cure.' A rusty razor blade, with dried blood.

A half-smile, half-grimance found its way onto his face. He took it out and took a deep breath, he hasnt cut since he joined the crew.

He rolled up the sleeve of his left arm and braced himself, pushing hard against the skin. The razor made no sound as it effortlessly opened up a wound on Ezra's arm. The wound was white for a few seconds until blood started flowing.

Seeing this much blood, Ezra started to panic. He must have done it harder than he thought. He quickly searched for the bandages in his backpack as a few drops of blood dropped onto his bed.

He found the bandages and quickly wrapped it around tightly, ignoring the dull throb.

He placed the Razor back in his backpack and tied a small knot to secure the bandages.

He felt like he needed to say something, anything so he opened his mouth and said the first words that came to his mind.

" I don't know what's worth fighting for, Or why I have to scream, I don't know why I instigate, And say what I don't mean, I don't know how I got this way, I know it's not alright. "

Ezra sighed, he knew he needed to stop this. He decided that this wound was the last one he'd inflict on himself.

" So I'm breaking the habit, I'm breaking the habit, tonight. " It sounded strangely like a song he once knew, so he searched his mind for the rest of it.

" I don't want to be the one, The battles always choose, 'Cause inside I realize, That I'm the one confused ".

He heard the sound of the override code being activated and the lock removing. He quickly hid his arm under the blanket as he saw the person walk in.

" Hey Ki- What's that?! "

Ezra looked at the blanket area near his backpack and realised he forgot to cover up the blood.

Kanan's POV

It was around noon and decidedly hot on Lothal, Hera, Sabine and Zeb where out for an overnight supply run, they were going to stay in a cheap inn not far from the market. I was made to stay back as I had gotten drunk when I stopped at a pub for the night for a drink and realised the drinks were much stronger than they were advertised... the hard way.

Long story short, I may have caused a few... dozen.. bar fights and basically destroyed the bar. Being a drunk force-user can do that to you. Luckily all the other patrons were too drunk to realise and recognise a force-user. As soon as I made it back to the Ghost, after a few hours of staggering, Hera made me go to my bunk and sleep it off, but in the morning she told us the mission was going to be an overnight one and 'someone has to look after Ezra' before dropping a chore list in my hands and leaving before I could protest.