why not?

chapter 8: tristain is an arse

chapter 8: tristain is an arse

On our way back, Tristain doesn't hold my hand. We we get back home, he goes straight to James' room. On my may up, I notice he sleeps in the sleeping bag.

I'm pissed is all I can say. But I'm more sad. If only I were older, or if only I were mind-blowingly hot and gorgey. If only wasn't his cousin. I want to ring Mandy, but I'm too depressed to call or speak to anyone.

I look around the room and realise it had gotten messy. Cleaning helps me feel better. The feng shui of the room is garbled. I pull the curtain over the mirror facing the foot of my bed, so my bad chi doesn't reflect off of it. I wipe my Buddha clean and place it back on my desk. I clear the gunk I've piled under my bed and organise it into boxes in the closet. All the while, I have Coldplay blasting on my speakers. Chris Martin's beautiful voice just makes me feel so happy.

I open up the windows to let out the stale chi and take a deep breath. All is in order in my room. I spread our my yoga mat and go at it for about an hour, of which I roll my mat back up and go outside.

For the past few hours of the night, I had managed to forget about Tristain's hurtful betrayal. But once outside the security of my room, it brings back harsh realities.

Just because he isn't willing to be romantically involved with him doesn't mean I have to be away from him. That'll only be more painful.

He's playing the Xbox in James' room and the door is open.

"Hey Tristain" I call from the stairs as I'm stepping down. His head jerks with shock and he looks at me sharply. God those blue eyes...a pang hits my heart, like a bullet. I ignore and ask, "Would you like some tea? I'm making some right now"

"Yeah" he answers dully, turning back to the television screen. I force myself to not hurt as I patiently brew a pot of tea and pour two cups for him and myself. It's near midnight at the moment, and I'm eager to go to sleep.

"Here" I say tersley. He pauses the game and pops the controller in his other hand as he takes the cup. I notice how he's careful not to touch my hand. Why am I so hurt over the smallest things?

"Goodnight" I say as cheerfully as I can. 

"Yeah"

Even when he was mad at me before, he's say some more, like "Bad night you baffooon" or "Sweet nightmares, I hope you cry". Him just saying "Yeah" is worse!

I decide not to sleep immediately and watch some Avatar the Last Airbender. Poor Aang, Katara doesn't return his affections in this episode.

Before going to bed, I realise that after all those years of scorn to those girls who get all depressed and heartbroken over a guy, I've become of them. Oh my god, that's brilliant. That's...I bark out a harsh bark of laughter that sounds cold and broken. Even worse, I start to cry! Holy shit hell. What a wonderful day. It may sound cliche, but I actually do cry myself to sleep and it feels crap awful.

Tristain's POV

i hear her crying. It hurts. I hate being like this. But I have to be the strong one, I have to do this. I turn off the Xbox and do the dishes before going to the sleeping back. I kind of wish I were in Lila's bed again. Yeah, I've lost that opportunity.

LIla's POV

The next morning, I can't move my face. The tears from the night before have hardended to crust overnight. I wash my face and brush my teeth before doing a nice hour of morning yoga. I feel refreshed and ready to take on the world, even Tristain.