Finding a Broken Soul

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

  Two days it took for me to get all my energy back. Two days I had lost in searching time. Three days I had left to find Lovino. It just didn't seem like enough time.

  "Feli?" I heard Elizabeta's voice as she entered the house. I looked up from my untouched cup of coffee. I had made it, but for some reason I had never ended up drinking it. I just held it as it slowly turned cold.

  "In the kitchen." I said loud enough for her to hear me. She joined me in the kitchen and smiled at me. She noticed the untouched cup of coffee in my hands but said nothing about it. She knew I was feeling down, and probably just assumed I was missing Lovino. Which I was but it just wasn't the whole story.

  "I brought you some soup, I thought maybe it would help." She said. She had been visiting the past two days, looking after me. She didn't know how I had lost all my energy. The others had said it was up to me if I wanted to talk about it. But for once, I wasn't in the mood to do much talking at all. I just felt numb.

  "Grazie." I said quietly. She came over to me and gave me a hug. I knew she hated to see me like this, but I couldn't help it. I always showed how I felt. I wasn't good at hiding my feelings.

  "I know, it's hard Feli. I miss him too. But I'm sure he's happy with your grandfather and everyone else." Elizabeta said. I didn't have the heart to tell her she was wrong. It seemed to be the only way she was able to cope with Lovino being gone.

  I know she had loved him. She adored him just as much as she adored me. She had helped look after Lovino many times when Spain left on business. She had watched Lovino and I play together many times when we were younger.

  "Sí, you're probably right." I had to force myself to say that. I hated lying but I couldn't help it. I didn't want Elizabeta upset like I was.

  "Now will you eat something, please?" Elizabeta pleaded. "You need to eat something. All your energy isn't back yet."

  "I'll eat it later, I promise." I said. I really wasn't hungry then. She looked at me with her lips pressed together tightly. She didn't know whether I would actually eat it or not.

  "Alright, fine." She said, giving in. "But if I come back tomorrow and that's not eaten..." She trailed off and I knew she was giving me a warning.

  "Alright." I said and her phone rang. She frowned slightly and excused herself to go answer it. I sat there, before getting up and pouring out the cold coffee before putting the empty cup in the sink.

  I took the container of soup and put it in the fridge. I could easily put some in a bowl later and heat it up in the microwave. Or put it in a pot and cook it on the stove. But the microwave was always easier and took less time.

  I closed the fridge as soon as Elizabeta came back into the room. Looking over at her, she seemed to be a bit angry. Not at me, but whoever she had been talking to. She sighed and looked over at me with an apologetic smile.

  "I'm sorry Feli, but I have to go. My boss just called an emergency meeting." She explained and I nodded. I understood that.

  "It's alright. Just go before you get in trouble." I told her. She looked at me before coming and giving me a hug. Then with that, she was gone, with a promise she'd be back with Ludwig tomorrow.

  I sighed and sat back down at the kitchen table. Russia told me that the country graveyard wasn't in any country we knew of. Grandpa Rome said Lovino wasn't there because he wasn't either dead or alive. So Lovino's Ka - virtual spark - was probably somewhere in between.

  I paused when that thought came to mind. A world in between this world and the one countries went to when they dissolved. You needed to be neither dead or alive to get there. And I was pretty sure I had just found a way to get there.

  Standing quickly I went in search for what I needed. I found some rope lying around the house, and wondered why it was there exactly. But I didn't spend too much time on that before pushing the thought away and picking up the rope. I tied a slip knot before finding somewhere to tie it.

  "What are you doing?" Lovino asked frantically as he watched me tie the rope to the railing at the top of the back stairs. I paused in what I was doing to look at him. I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty in what I was about to do. But I was sure I had to do this in order to get Lovino back.

  "I'm getting you back." I told Lovino before turning my attention back to the task at hand. I finished tying the knot before going to go get a stool.

  "Feliciano, stop this, you idiot." Lovino said, growing more frantic. "You're going to only end up hurting yourself. Please Amore, don't."

  I looked over at Lovino after putting the stool where I needed it. I took a shaky breath and hugged him. I had to admit, I was afraid to do this. What if it didn't work? But I had to believe it would.

  "I'm sorry Lovi, I'm going to get you back. And if this is how I have to do it, so be it." I muttered to him. He clung to me and I tried to comfort him. "Elizabeta and Ludwig will both be here tomorrow. They'll help me when they get here."

  "I hope you're right, you idiot." Lovino said, knowing he could do nothing to stop me from doing this. I pulled away from him and kissed his ghostly lips. He kissed back slightly before disappearing once again, not wanting to see me do what I was about to do.

  I went over to the stool and climbed on top of it. I put my head through the loop in the rope and took a deep breath. I was still a strong country with no chance of dissolving. Everything was fine, Elizabeta and Ludwig would come and get me help tomorrow.

  I told myself these things to try and calm down, but nothing would stop my shaking. This was the only way I could get Lovino back, I told myself. The only way to get to the world where you were neither dead or alive. I needed to do this not only for me and Lovino, but also for all the people who had been affected by Lovino dissolving.

  With those thoughts in mind, I kicked the stool away.