It's Not Love (Book 2)

19 - "I'm anything but confident,"

"I love you too, baby," he said.

Welcome to INL! This chapter I have no idea! So I hope it turns out and you enjoy it anyway! GET READING!

Darcy's p.o.v

It's been an hour and Dr. Mendes should be coming to weigh me any minute. I'm not looking forward to it at all. I don't want to know. I don't.

"Are you OK?" Jack asked.

"I'm fine," I whispered. The door opened and Dr. Mendes walked in with a nurse.

"It's time for your weigh in," he said. I sighed and nodded. I stood from the bed on shakey legs. Jack helped me walked by wrapping his arm around my waist. We followed them into a room with a bunch of things I don't know the name of. We walked over to the scale in the corner.

"Step on, please," the nurse asked me politely. I followed her orders and stepped on. I looked at anything but the numbers as the nurse moved the little square piece to find my weight. "Oh my," she gapped.

"What are the numbers, Mrs. Andrew," Dr. Mendes asked popping his pen to get ready to write it down.

"45 kilograms, 99.2 pounds," she said.

"30 pounds Darcy, you've got to gain 30 pounds to be a healthy weight," he sighed.

"What?! 30 pounds! I'm big enough as it is!" I yelled.

"Your body has already started shutting itself down! Your lucky to be alive with how much weight you've lost!" He said. "If you lose anymore you could die! Your damaging the organs in your body! You keep going like this and you'll never have children again! When the last time you even had a period?!"

"Like two months ago," I shrugged. "But I was pregnant and last time I checked pregnant women don't get periods!"

"You're slowly killing yourself, Darcy! Why don't you understand that!" He yelled frustrated. "If you don't gain atleats a pound a week from now on, I'm gonna have to put a tub through your nose to your stomach and force feed you! Do you what that?!"

"Fine!" I rolled my eyes. I stepped from the scale and left the room. I walked back into my room and picked up Delilah. "Hey baby girl," I cooed. I walked over to the bed and sat her on my lap. "Can you say 'Mommy'?" I said while signing. She moved her hands trying to copy my actions. I repeated it again.

"Mommy!" She signed.

"Good job!" I cooed. I kissed her forehead. "Now say 'Daddy'," I signed.

"Daddy!" She repeated my actions. I cooed and kissed her cheek. Jack walked through the door soon after.

"Jack watch this!" I said excitedly. "Mommy," I signed. Delilah copied. "Daddy," I signed and she copied again.

"Good job baby girl," he cooed walking over. He took her from my lap and began spinning around. She giggled loudly and smiled.

"She's growing up so fast," I said a tear falling down my cheek. "Soon enough we'll be chasing away ber boyfriends, giving her away at her wedding, and she'll have her own babies," I cried. I placed my hand over my mouth.

"Oh baby, don't cry," he said. He walked over and pecked me on the lips. "She will always be our little girl," he smiled. He handed her back to me and I cuddled her.

"It feels like yesterday I was giving birth," I sighed. "I'm gonna miss her being a baby,"

"Me too," he sighed. The door opened and Layla walked in. She smiled when she saw me.

"She's gotten so big!" She gushed.

"Don't remind me," I laughed.

"You'll be glad when she grows up, trust me. You'll get to learn what her personnality is like," she smiled. She walked over and sat in the chair by my bed. "As cute as she is, I think it's best you lay her down for now," she said. I nodded and handed Delilah to Jack. He laid her on the bed and kissed her cheek. He sat beside Layla as she pulled out some papers.

"Can he stay?" I asked her.

"Yes, of course," she said. "I've learned that you're anorexic, you're also on suicide watch, and that you've had a miscarriage, is this true?" She asked me. I nodded my head slowly.

"Yes," I whispered.

"OK, first things first, how are you?" She asked.

"I'm OK," I sighed.

"Are you confident in yourself and in your body?" She asked. I swallowed thickly.

"I'm anything but confident,"

"How so?"

"I'm fat and ugly and just- I'm just worthless, I don't deserve to be alive. I killed my own child for my own stupid and self fish reasons," I choked out a sob. "A little mix of me and Jack gone becuase of my stupidity! If I had just eaten I would still be pregnant," I cried.

"Your child's death is not your fault, you didn't even know that they were there,"

"That seems to be what happens everytime I don't know about their excistence. First Xavier now this... I don't know what to do with myself anymore,"

"Take a deep breathe, it's all going to be OK," she said. I nodded and took a deep breathe. "There you go. What would happen to your family if you had died, I'm they would all be very upset?"

"I know they would cry, my mum would lose everything and he would cry the most," I said. "I'm his little girl, my and I brother are our parents miracles. They lost hope for the perfect surogate mother, until they found Abella. My parents would cry for weeks, months. I'm glad that I didn't end up jumping,"

"I'm sure your family is happy aswell," she smiled. "How do you feel about all this?" She asked Jack.

"Well..." He sighed.

-

Layla had finished the hour long session and had left 20 minutes ago. Delilah is fast asleep and I'm soon to fall asleep aswell. The door opens and Dr. Mendes walks in with something in his hand. He walks over to me.

"You need to eat this," he said handing me the peanut butter sandwhich. "I'll stay in here with your for an hour after you have eaten it to make sure you don't try and throw up again," he said. My eyes widened.

"Wha- How did you-?" I stuttered.

"I have my ways, now eat," he said. I looked at the sandwhich with hate.

"Do you have any idea how many calories and fat are in this sandwhich alone?" I said.

"Yes I do, now eat it," he said sternly. I sighed and took a small bit. I slowly chewed and nearly vomited right there. I continued to eat the gross sandwhich until it was finished. I held myself back from throwing up everywhere.

"Happy?" I grumbled.

"Very, now I'll have to stay for the next hour, that way it will not matter if you threw up because the food will have been digested," he said. I mentally glared at him. I laid down and groaned hating the full feeling I had in my stomach; I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

~Authors note~

One more chapter until the third book!! Nobody said if they wanted another character ask so I'm not gonna do one. I might in the next book though.

Anygay, thank you so much for reading and I hope to see you in the next chapter!

Bye!