Careless Whisper (Ryan Ross/Pete Wentz)

Mercenary (Pete's POV)

Well, it's been a few months now and honestly, Ryan doesn't seem to be getting better... He said that the doctor said it was advanced already, but I didn't think it'd advance this fast... He's lost just about all of his hair already and he's worried that I don't love him anymore. He's so adorable. I will always love Ryan until the day I die.

Ryan just had yet another chemo appointment yesterday. He's been really tired recently, but I think that's why. He's not getting as sick from them anymore either, so that's good, but he still gets sick occasionally, like today. He's been laying in bed all day, yesterday after the appointment, and then today.

"You doing ok?" I asked as I poked my head into our room. "Need anything?"

"Actually, can you lay with me?" Ryan asked.

"Sure," I said as I smiled and crawled into bed with him.

"Thanks," he said.

"Is there anything else bothering you?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around him.

"Not really," he lied, and I knew it.

"Alright," I said, leaving it at that because I don't want to stress him out.

I held Ryan in my arms for a good hour while we watched tv. I loved holding him in my arms. It felt so right. I feel like Ryan is my soulmate and I can't live without him. This whole situation has brought us closer, I swear.

I was just about to doze off when Ryan said something.

"Pete?" he asked.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"W-What if I can't beat this? What if it becomes too strong?" he asked.

"Ry, don't think like that. The treatments they're giving you are helping and you're so strong. You can beat this," I said as I sat up.

"But what if I can't, Pete? What if they've done all they can do and nothing else can be done?" he asked as he also sat up.

"Ryan, please," I said, my voice breaking. "I don't want to think about that."

"I know, Pete," he said as he hugged me. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," I said as I hugged him back and cried quietly.

"Baby, don't cry," he said.

"I-I'm sorry," I said.

"Don't be. It's my fault," he said.

He wound up holding me in his arms while I cried. After that, we both fell asleep around ten. I got woken up around two in the morning from a sudden jolt on the bed. My eyes shot open and I caught a glimpse of Ryan running to the bathroom. He's been doing that a lot at night lately.. It's not during the day like it used to be. I'm getting worried... I know that this is probably just the treatments, but it's still concerning.

He came back out a few minutes later and literally fell back into bed.

"Are you ok?" I asked as I sat up next to him.

"What? Oh, sorry I woke you up," he said. "And yeah. I'm fine."

"It's fine," I said. "Are you sure? You like fell into the bed."

"I just felt a little weak, that's all," he said.

"Are you going to be ok?" I asked.

"Yes," he said as he laid down.

I laid back down and then wrapped my arms around him again. We both fell asleep again and stayed asleep. I woke up around nine and got up and went to the bathroom. Ryan was still sleeping, so I went into the kitchen and started making myself breakfast. After I had made it, I was just about to sit down at the table when I heard a loud thud. I dropped my plate onto the table and then ran to the bedroom.

"Ryan!" I shouted as I ran to him. "What happened?!"

"I-I don't know. I was going to get up, then I felt dizzy, and then I was on the ground. I don't really remember. I feel like really weak too," Ryan said as I helped him up.

"I knew you weren't ok," I said.

"I'm fine, really," he said.

"Obviously not if you're falling and feeling dizzy," I said. "Just lay back in bed and stay there. Need anything?"

"Can you get me some water?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "I'll be right back."

"Thanks," he said.

I smiled and then walked back into the kitchen and filled a glass of water for Ryan. I brought it back to him and he gladly took it. After that, I told him to rest and then I ate my breakfast. I kept checking on Ryan throughout the day and he was sleeping each time I checked. I finally stopped checking for a while and just sat and relaxed. I was just about to doze off again when I heard Ryan.

"God dammit," he said.

I got up and ran into the bedroom. Ryan was sitting on the bed, but that's all. What the hell?

"Ry, what's wrong?" I asked.

"I-I like seriously can't move..." he said. "It's like my legs just locked or something."

"Wait, seriously?" I asked.

"Yeah, I can't move," he said.

"Are you still dizzy?" I asked.

"More than ever," he said.

"Weak?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said.

"Ok, it doesn't matter what you say, I'm worried about you, so we're going to the hospital," I said.

Ryan only nodded, so I put a shirt on him and then picked him up bridal style. I carried him all the way down to the vehicle and then put him in. I was really worried about him, and that increased with every minute. I swear Ryan was becoming a little unresponsive. I got in the driver seat and drove off. Ryan had to stop me on the way again so he could throw up. Now I was getting really worried. Once we arrived, Ryan completely couldn't move. It's like from the waist down he was paralyzed. He was getting dizzier and weaker too. I rushed him inside and called for help.

"What's going on?" a doctor asked as he ran towards us.

"H-He tried to get out of bed earlier today and he couldn't. He said that he couldn't move and he was really weak and dizzy. He stopped me from driving on the way here so he could throw up on the side of the road and then after that, he became dizzier and weaker, I swear. I'm really scared," I explained in tears.

"Does he have any disease?" the doctor asked as a nurse ran a bed over and I put Ryan on it.

"He's fighting cancer," I said.

"Alright, we'll look at him right away and let you know," he said as they whisked Ryan away.

I was left standing there not knowing if Ryan would still be here when I found out... What if? Like Ryan had asked me. What if this would eventually take over? What if this is killing him? What if? I walked back to the waiting area and sat down and cried. I can't lose the love of my life this early. Our lives have only just begun. They can't end just like that...

I wound up falling asleep in the chair after an hour of waiting. I was so tired from staying up or being woken up by Ryan. I just wanted him to be safe. I would never sleep again if it meant that Ryan would be ok.

"Ryan?" someone asked, waking me up.

"Right here!" I said as I shot up.

"Ah. Well, here's what we found out. The cancer is spreading fairly rapidly and it's causing him to become weaker and dizzier, along with the vomiting," the doctor said.

"What about not being able to move?" I asked.

"That we aren't exactly sure about, but we do know that's it's nor permanent," he said.

"Good," I said. "Now about the cancer spreading, is it going to continue to get worse or can it continue being fought?"

"We are going to continue chemo, but it's hard to say right now," he said.

"Thanks," I said. "C-Can I go see him?"

"Yes," he said. "He's resting, but his room is 435."

"Thank you," I said.