Careless Whisper (Ryan Ross/Pete Wentz)

Haven't You Heard That I'm The New Cancer? (Ryan's POV)

Pete and I fell asleep on the couch last night. It felt good to know that I'd have Pete through all of this complete bullshit. I'm not mad about it, per se, but I'm going to fight this. I know I can, especially with Pete.

Today, in about an hour, I start my first round of chemotherapy at the hospital. Pete and I woke up around nine and started to get ready to leave. He got dressed, where I just basically stayed in my pajamas. I don't think this is really something to dress up for... I've been staying quiet and Pete knows why, obviously, but I'm still trying to put on a brave face for his sake.

"You ready to go?" Pete asked as he threw his jacket on.

"Yeah," I said. "Lets get it over with."

Pete gave me a saddened expression and then we left. We drove back to the hospital and parked. Pete and I got out and he took my hand in his as we walked into the building. Once again, Pete said why we were there and then we waited... We waited for me to start chemo... I couldn't stop thinking about it and a tear escaped my eye. Pete must have seen it because he gently wiped it away with his thumb.

"Pete," I said.

"Yes, baby?" he asked.

"Are you still going to love me when I'm bald and ugly?" I asked.

"Are you kidding me? You could lose and arm and a leg and I'd still love you. I will always love you, Ryan," he said.

I smiled at him and hugged him. I knew he meant it, I could tell. After a few more minutes, a nurse came by us and said that we could follow her back to a room. Pete and I got up and followed her. We finally arrived at a room in the cancer portion of the hospital. She had me lay on the bed while her and someone else got everything set up.

"Ok, before we start, there are some side effects that come with chemotherapy. You could notice some appetite changes, fatigue, hair loss, and vomiting," the nurse said.

"Awesome," I said.

"Ok, we're going to get started here," she said.

They hooked everything up with little effort, surprisingly. They told me it'd take about an hour, so at least it's not too terribly long... They also told me about the vomiting as well. They said that I would probably vomit since this was my first time with chemo. I was given medicine to help with that, but it's still probable. After they had discussed everything, they walked out and left Pete and I there.

"Well, this is fun," I said.

"Yeah," Pete said as he smiled at me.

We sat there for a good forty five minutes and that's when I started to feel nauseaous. I kept trying to brush it off, but that wasn't working so well.

"Are you alright?" Pete asked.

"Um, not really... Can you hand me that garbage can?" I asked.

Pete shook his head and handed it to me. That's when I lost it... All of it, to be exact. Pete sat next to me and rubbed my back. After I was done, I set the can down and just laid my head on Pete's shoulder.

"What's wrong, baby?" he asked.

"Just not looking forward to more of this, that's all," I said.

"I know," he said. "But on the bright side, hopefully it'll help make you better."

"True," I said as I gave him a small smile.

We sat there for the remainder of the time and then I was unhooked from everything. After that, the nurses talked with us for a little longer about everything and said to come back next Monday at the same time. Once we were done talking, Pete and I left. The fifteen minute drive was too long. I just wanted to get home and sleep.

"Hey Pete," I said.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"C-Can you pull over?" I asked.

"Why?" he asked.

"Just please do it," I said.

Pete obliged and I opened my door. I lost it all again on the side of the road. Well, at least I've got this going for me...

"You ok?" Pete asked.

"I am now," I said.

Pete gave me another saddened look and then took my hand in his again. We drove the rest of the way home and then went up to our apartment. Once we got there, I took my jacket off and then went straight into our room. Like I said, all I wanted to do was rest, and that's what I intended to do. Maybe this is all a dream and I'll wake up from it...