Falling For My Bully {Completed}

Chapter 32

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Amira POV
You know what I hated the most, the one regret I had in life. The biggest mistake I ever made, the worst thing I felt. Some girls would probably say not having much clothes (even though they do).

What I hated the most was when I told him I never loved him, that I Just wanted to crush his heart into little pieces. No one would know how to fix it. I'm pathetic for that. Selfish for caring about my feeling and not his. 

I could have said yes to his marriage proposal, be happy just like any other girl would want. There was probably something wrong with me. I don't what it was but there was.

Yes I was bullied, touched and beaten. I also got over it, well I thought so. Mother was right, everyone is not perfect. We are humans, we make mistakes. Yet Allah forgives, even if our sins and mistakes covered the whole ocean. Allah would forgive, for he is forgiving. Yes I could have forgiven Mazin for his mistakes. What got me thinking was, would he forgive me now ?

Would we put this behind us. In a deep place where we wouldn't be able to find it, wouldn't let us destroy each other.

I hated how we weren't talking anymore. How he ignored me, but yet steal glance at me when he thought I wasn't looking. I wished I could say, take a pic it would last longer. Although that would been haram. I was desperate for him to talk to me. For his forgiveness.

Who would have thought I would be in love. Yet I can't have that love. The only way I could have it was forgiveness from Mazin.

I look over the window, the cold coming in. Raising goosebumps all over my body. I get up, shutting. Looking at the snow, smiling. It looked like it had no worries. Just came  down from the sky, melt when its time came to
a end.

It was free to do anything. So pure, so beautiful. It was a blessing from Allah, he can give it to us and take it within seconds. Not one snowflake will fall without his permission.

I look above the sky, it was past magrib, so the sun went down. The colors of the sunset came  to a end. It was dark blue now, the snow falling above us. Slowly and beautiful.

I go on my bed, thinking about him once again. Is was like his took something from and I wanted it back. He took my heart, and I couldn't move on without getting it back. Couldn't live with out his forgiveness.

I get up and go on to my closet. Picking something comfortable to wear to park. Sarah asked me to meet her there. She said the night felt good. That she wanted to spent sometimes with me without thinking about the wedding. Said it would be good for us. So I agreed and was getting ready. I pick and a Abaya, and a hot pink scarf.

I take my coat, and but it one. The night was chill, I could survive. Even though Sarah wanted to go there, I wanted to go anywhere but there. I knew it would bring back memories.Ones I wanted to forget. 

Heading down stairs where my family was now cuddle on the couch. They were watching the movie "Lights out."

I watched with Sarah a few weeks ago. It was the most scary movie. It made me jump every time the lady Dianne came.

"Amira where are you going," My mother asked me, pausing the movie

I give her a smile while I put on my shoes.