Kendall

5

    I lost the game. But only by a few points, I swear.

   "God, Kendall, you suck." Brody laughs hysterically. I frown and place the controller down.

   "Pick an easy game. Something I won't suck at." I say. Brody looks around for a moment before walking away and motions for me to follow him. I glance back at Peter. He is now close behind that girl at the mini hoops and is holding her hands forward showing her how to shoot the ball. No one seems to be immune from his charm.

   I turn back and see Brody standing by the Rock Band game. He waves for me to come over again and hands me a mic." Can you sing?" he asks. I step on the platform and take the microphone. Sing in front of all of these people? My stomach says no, but I nod anyway.

   I actually love to sing. Well, I used to before everything. I haven't sung since then, never even thought about it."Can I pick the song?" Brody nods and I pick "California Paradise" by The Runaways.

   Brody plays the guitar and hits all the notes at insanely fast speeds. My part is coming up, too late to back down. I take a deep breath and ignore the nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. My hand balls up into a fist as I start to sing. Brody looks at me, astonishment all over his face and ends up missing notes. I grin, really grin, and get more into the song. I move around a the platform, and make the notes get louder and softer. The song ends and I see that Peter, two boys in the corner,and a few people outside are looking at me, grinning. Embarrassed, I hop off the mini stage and begin to walk off.

   "Wait,'' Brody says. "You're like, really good." I turn to him. The people have moved on now. I'm delighted to be out from under their gazes. "Amazing actually." I feel my face turn red and I look down at my shoes. Brody chuckles. "Don't be embarrassed. You blew me away. Wanna play again? You can play drums."

   I agree. Eventually Peter joins us and he sings, badly. We go to the food court and they tell jokes and I actually laugh. I feel good inside; it's like a breath of fresh air. This is the closest to happy I've been in a while. I've managed to forget about all the crap and just live like a normal teenager.

   But when we pass a health store and remember we need band-aids, my mood darkens a little. I really try to just pass it up and keep walking with the guys, but I really need some band-aids, just in case. "Hey, I'll be right back." Without waiting for an answer, I leave and head into the store. I grab two boxes and then pass up a box of razor blades. I try and tear my eyes away from the box, but I can't. I reach for them and grab three boxes. What if they saw what was in my bag? I could just say my uncle needed them, but they would never believe that.

   I walk to the counter anyway and pick up a few more items to make my purchase a little less conspicuous with only blades and band-aids. I pick up a tube of red lipstick, some eyeliner, and a magazine. The worker doesn't give me a second glance. I pay with a few crumpled bills.

   He puts my stuff in a  thin plastic bag and I turn and trip over someone. The blades fly out the bad and slide across the floor.

   "I'm sorry!" Brody. The worker goes to the back. My heart races, I scramble to pick everything up. The blades are so far away. Brody crouches down,tries to help me.

   "No," I say. I'm fine." I feel sick and I could almost cry. Please, please, please do not let him see any blades!

   "Here, let me help." We both reach for the blades at the same time.

   I realize he isn't staring at the box, but my arm. The sleeve has rolled up, revealing my arm. I think I'm about to faint. My breathing stops, my heart pounds in my ears and the whole world begins to fall apart.

   "My,God-" he murmurs. I stand quickly, shaking.  I think I might hyperventilate. My head is spinning. Oh I think I am going to faint. I grab the box from his hand faster than the speed of light and run out the store past Peter, past everyone.

   I hear him call my name again, but I keep running closer to the exit. "Would you stop?" He yells. He grabs me roughly and pushes me against the cool brick building. He is squeezing my arms hard. I hold in a cry, but my eyes start to water. He looks deep into them. What does he see in there? Fear? Sadness? Desperation? Pain? He sees my darkest secret. The one I've been hiding for so long.

   He lifts up my sleeve and stares in horror at my arm. I'm trembling. I tug my arm hard, but he has a strong grip on it. He drops my arm and lifts the other sleeve and shakes his head to see the same thing; butchered skin. "Please," I cry,"don't tell anyone."

   He looks up at me again. I tug my arms and he lets them fall. "You're crazy." he whispers. The words hurt, even though I already knew that. It wasn't news to me.

   "I know." I answer.

   "You need help." he says louder. I'm going to faint. I can see the black dots in my vision.

   "I know." I mumble again.

   "Tell me why." he demands.

   Brody is glaring at me with those dark brown eyes. "Tell me," he demands again.

   "No." I growl. I try hard as I can to break free from his grasp, but I am firmly planted against this wall. I can't imagine telling this stranger how I killed my father and brother. I scream in frustration

   He shakes his head and drops my arm and I immediately try to run away."No," he says and pulls me back. I am pushed against the wall again, but gently this time."Why? Tell me why!"

   He is so close to me now. His chest is touching mine. I even out my breathing before responding.

   "Let me go. Please." I whisper. He does, slowly and backs away, but watches me closely in case I decide to make a run for it again.

   "Hey!" Peter. I wipe my tears and face him." Why'd you two run off?" I could feel Brody's powerful gaze on me.

   "Sorry, I have to get home now." I say shakily. "Mind giving me a lift?"

   Peter looks at Brody and back to me, and finally nods. "Sure. Um, you okay?" I nod quickly and avoid Peter's questioning gaze and Brody's glare.

   The ride home is quiet and uncomfortable. I can't stand another minute in here. I feel like I am suffocating. Brody watches me the whole time. The ride home from the mall has never been this long before.

   I was so stupid for believing I could actually have fun and nothing bad could come of it.

   Peter pulls up in my driveway and I open the door before he has fully stopped. "Thanks Peter, I had fun." I lie. I steal a glance at Brody, who is still looking at me. His icy glare has softened and now he has an almost sad expression.

   He knows what I'm about to do. He know, he knows, oh God he knows. "Maybe we could do this again. See you tomorrow, Kendall." he says. Brody doesn't try to stop me.

   "Nice to meet you again...Brody." My voice shakes. Brody gets out the car and comes to the passenger side.

   He looks ready to scream in my face. "Please." I whisper quietly enough for his ears only. Brody stares deep into my eyes. He opens his mouth to say something, but shakes his head and slides in next to Peter. "Bye." he mumbles. He slams the car door.

   I run inside and try to contain myself.