Deadpool X Harley Quinn

Prologue: Harley Meets D.Pool

[Harley's POV]

[shooting] "WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, PSYCHO!" I yell to the man chasing me.

"Oh, yOU'RE CALLING ME THE PSYCHO?!"

I run behind a wall to hide, but find that I'm suddenly surrounded by multiple men wearing similar attire as the one chasing me: All black clothing, with bullet resistant vests over black hoodies.
They all pinned me against the wall.
"What tha hell?!"
The leader approached me slowly with an ominous grin plastered on his disgusting face.

"Well, well, well. It's nice to officially meet you, Harleen Quinzel."  He says as I scrunched my nose at him. "People call me Junkrat, love."
He stepped closer, entering my personal space. I spit in his face.

Jerking back and letting out a sigh, he wiped the spit off and pulled out a knife, place my the blade against my neck. 
I chuckled.
"I ain't scared a' you, ya pussy."

"Ehehehhh... We'll see about that."
The blade pressed harder against my skin making a small slit and causing some blood to drip down. But suddenly, as I squint my eyes closed and prepare for the worst, a bright light shines directly from behind the men. They're distracted by it and loosen their grips, granting me a chance to slip away and run towards the light, feeling weirdly drawn to it.

[Deadpool's POV]

I'm sitting on my torn up cheap couch inside my cheap apartment, watching HD Porn on my wide-screen TV (that I stole).
Out of nowhere, I hear a loud screeching noise then what sounds like a rip come from above, and as I look up, i see a bright light shining down to me and could hear a woman yelling, her voice growing louder as she gained closer. Then, a hot girl slammed right onto my lap, then rolling off and onto the floor. I sat staring at her in shock as she groaned and rubbed her head.

She looked up at me and the room fell silent except the porn still playing in the background.
"Um..."
The chick looked at the TV, then back at me.
"Is that Riley Reid?" She spoke up.

"U-uh, yeah..."

"Hm."
The hot chick got up on the couch and sat next to me, watching it without saying a word. I slouched back down in the couch and took a sip of the soda.

After the film was over, I turned off the TV and sat there, waiting for something to happen.
"Ahem... Wade Wilson. People call me Deadpool."
I held out my bare scarred hand. (I'm not wearing my red suit, just some grey sweat pants and a dark blue hoodie.)
She shook my hand.
"People call me Harley Quinn."
I nodded my head and scratched my crotch.
"Mind if I ask what happened to yer... Skin?"

"Eh, long story. I got cancer, someone told me they could fix it, then they ruined my life. So I killed him."

"Hm. Well, I was a psychiatrist, then a man came into my life and seduced me ta lettin' him outta the nut house. I fell for him, my puddin, but he nevah fell fer me. He physically and mentally abused me fa' years. So, I left my puddin behind and nevah looked back. Oh, and not to mention, he pushed me inna batch of chemicals, which's why I'm so pasty white."

I stared at the poor chick. I put my hand on her head between her pigtails and patted her, trying to comfort her.
"Damn. Talk about the hard knock life. So, uh, where you coming from?"

"Gotham, I think."

"Well, Harley, welcome to the Marvel universe."

This whole situation was confusing as hell, especially how she got here, but I guess I'm fine with it. I let her seduce me (which didn't take much) into letting her stay, and sleep in my bed.
Harley pretty much just welcomed herself into my life, and I actually didn't mind. She was confident in herself, so sometimes she'd walk around naked after a shower or something, so I let it slide that she wasn't helping pay rent. Plus, she's a hot girl who doesn't care about what I look like. She laughs at my jokes and enjoys my food. I feel like she's literally a gift from God-- or maybe I'm just so depressed, the voices in my head created the perfect woman for me. Either way, I think I'm in love.

Almost a month of living together

"Hey, Mistah D. You doin anything today?"

"Uh, yeah, but it's... Merc business. You don't want anything to do with that part of my life."

"That so?"

"Yep."
I grab a bag full of guns and make my way out the door.

[time skip]

I'm at the address I was told to come to, to take out some skeez bags.

I walk in, and immediately I'm surrounded by assholes with guns and masks on. A familiar man approaches, the same man who asked me to do this job, Jakob.

"Nice to see you, Deadpool."

"Sup."

"You know why you're here?" Jakob starts walking to me with his hands in his pocket.
I'm standing across from him, completely relaxed.

"Nah."

He got into my face.
"You killed one of my people, homie."

"Well, homie, take my advice, and try brushing your teeth AT LEAST twice a day."

The man chuckled.
"You're funny. You know, I heard some rumors. I heard your immortal. Is it true?"

"Why don't you find out for yourself?" I said with a cocky tone.

"Hm. Shoot him through the heart." He commanded.

A man held up his gun and fired at my heart.
It knocked me back an inch. I took a deep breath, then looked back up to Jakob.
"That tickled, do it again!"

"Hm. Thought so. Well, I have some ideas. Boys."

The men grabbed me and tied me down to a chair.
"I wanna try some theories on you. Maybe if I cut your head off, you'll die? Maybe if I burn you alive?"

"Go ahead. Do what you please."

They began chopping and cutting. Every time, I'd just regenerate. It hurt, but I didn't mind. We'd been at this for hours and it was honestly worth it, seeing that annoyed look on his smug face when I'd wake back up.

Suddenly, there was an unexpected knock on the door. One man went to answer it. I heard a grunt come the distance, then something rolled into the room. Green gas started spewing from it, and all the men started coughing and gagging, then they all passed out. Through the smoke walked a familiar body figure. It was Harley, with a gas mask on. She leaned over me on the chair.

"Harley?!"

She lifted the mask and winked at me.
"You underestimated me, Mistah D!" She untied me and held my hand, walking me out of the building. She let go of my hand once we reached the outside, and she walked back in with a baseball bat. She went to the man who hired me, and started bashing his unconscious head in, all with a smile.

"Woah. She's hot and crazy!"