Winter's Love

Chapter 7

I wake up and look around. I only see the light of the TV. I sit up and wrap the throw around me. I look around feeling dead and empty inside. Oh goodness, I feel ill. I get up still wrapped in the blanket. I go to my bedroom and see my phone lighting up on my dresser. I pace towards it and grab it. I move my finger to the power button and before I tap it, it automatically turns on from a notification. It says 'Twitter: @CasparLee When did they fall in love behind me.' My heart sunk to the pit of my stomach. My body shrivels. I feel like I'm falling. He is talking about me and Joe. I scroll down and see text messages. 4 from Caspar, 2 from Joe, and 6 missed calls from Caspar. I open iMessage. I answer Joe first because I didn't feel like texting Caspar. His texts read;

Joe: Hey, Have you heard from Caspar?

Joe: He is acting weird.

I answer back,

Me: Uh, Yea. It was when we were at my flat and we kissed on the sofa. Caspar came over and saw us. He has tweeted out about us. Not directly but I don't know why he is acting weird.

I go to Caspar's messages and just call him immediately. I hear the ring through the phone. It rung twice until I hear a voice on the other end. "Hello?" I hear. "Hey Cas, what's up?" I ask awkwardly hoping he will bring it up. "You know, not much. But Emry I have something to tell you. Promise you won't get mad?" He asks. "I promise because if you don't tell me I might actually go MAD!" I laugh trying to ease the tension. He makes a small chuckle like an ugkh. "When I found you crying on the floor that morning when Joe left....I saw you and it made me....It made me feel horrible." He says but I stop him. "IT IS NOT your fault Caspar!" I emphasize. "NO. I know. It's just I had felt feelings I hadn't felt before-" His voice gets really loud, I feel sick to my stomach, My breathing quickens, and my hands get sweaty. I can't hear him because he is so loud. It smells really bad and I can't focus on anything but questions about my panic attack. Am I going to throw up? Am I gonna actually die this time? What if Caspar hates me because I can't answer? What if it keeps getting worse? What if I don't get out of this panic attack? I try hard to listen to his voice. I slowly trip to my bed. I sit down and slowly lay myself down. "Caspar I must go now." I immediately hang up. I go to my closet and try to stay focused. I get undressed still with blurry vision and shaky. I put on light blue comfy jeans with holes going down it, a black pull short sleeved pullover with a mesh at top and the numbers 88 in a big font, I slide my black leather Clarks Nevella Harpers, and put a nice satiney black jacket with a white rose design on the back on my arm. I slide my phone into the back pocket of my jeans. I run up the stairs and out the door. I leave the whole building and look across the road and check both ways. As it was 7 in the morning there were very few cars. I ran across the street to the wooden planks of the pier. I walk down the wooden steps and feel my feet sinking in the pebbles. I look out at the sea. I take a deep breath and collapse on the pebbles. The wind blowing past my face is cold and fresh. It hurts my nose a bit but feels so relaxing. I set my jacket next to me. I feel more stressed than ever; like my life has been pushed and pressed to inside out. I lie down on the cold pebbles and close my eyes. I feel like just sitting here forever with nothing but the sea. After a few minutes, I feel calm. I sit up and open my eyes. I smile. I feel good about me at the moment. I sit for longer and get hypnotized by the soft waves of the sea. After what only feels like minutes I check my phone and it reads 9am. My eyes open wide. I take another deep breath and grab my jacket. I stand up and look at the sea one last time. I turn around and walk back to my flat. I get back in my flat and realize that I have to go to a meeting at the office. I go to my bedroom, pull my hair out of the messy low ponytail I sit at my vanity and straighten my hair. I leave it down and do my makeup revolved around my hair and outfit (Which I don't usually do). I do a very natural makeup look as I am no dressed up at all. I finish my makeup and get up and pack my purse up with everything needed for work. I walk upstairs and grab a nutrition bar and get out the door.

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Once I am at the office I go to my little cubicle and start working. I just got a lot of paperwork done and even wrote back to people that sent me fan mail. I went to my meeting which got lots of things sorted out. In the middle of it all, I went to lunch with some friends. I realize that it's a quarter past 4 and I start finishing up. I leave the office at around 5 pm.

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I stop by the shops and bought some food and things like jewelry. I soon went home as I was exhausted. I got home and put away the food and accessories I bought. I sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. It was the British bake off. A re-run though, I have already seen it. My phone rings and I swiftly get it out of my pocket and answer. "Hellooo?" I ask in a silly accent. "Hiaaa!" I heard back. "Zoe!" I shout back while sitting up on the couch. I hear her laugh and so do I. "Hey Em, did you want to come over? I thought you might like to meet Mark?" She says sweetly. I can hear her smile through the phone. "Erm, is Joe over there?" I ask. "No, he is back in London." She says. I frown a bit. "Oh okay cool. I would love to come to the Zalfie pad!" I say excited. "YAY! Goody!" Zoe shouts. I laugh. "I will text you." She says. "Okay, I say bia bia boo!" I say. "Bi Bi Honey!" She says back. We hang up and text about like what we are eating and when would be a good time for me to go over. I get off the couch and to my bedroom and pack a rucksack to bring over. When I'm finished I decide that I should get over there. I walk upstairs and set my stuff down and get on my phone. I check some things like my Instagram. I am getting tagged in all of this drama. Like 'Joe and Emry dating?! Caspar is jealous?!' I pout and shut my phone off. "What have I done?!" I ask myself. And then I leave to go to Zoe's and Alfie's flat. This will be a good day from now on. I tell myself before I start driving to the train station.

It's quite short but it is a bit of a filler. More drama coming soon;)!!!!!!! ILYSM and have a good day!!!<3